Defeated

~Chapter 7~

Hmmm...tomorrow is February 14. Fun.
I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that on Valentine's Day. I'm not expecting much, but I at least want to spend the day with him. At the least.
It's so awkward because tomorrow is just Tuesday. It's such a random day. I have a Geography test too.
At least we're allowed to not wear uniform tomorrow, but we have to pay for it.

So today I'm kinda like studying for the Geo test. I don't really like Geo, I have always hated that subject. Why did I choose it you ask? I didn't. It chose me. Literally.
I was in another school and applied to this one and gave them my subject choices: Physics, Life Science and Hospitality.
So when I arrived here, they gave me my timetable and I see I have Geography instead of Hospitality.
I tried to change it, but it didn't work.
So I have just had to deal with that shit. I never was good at it, but I will make sure to do my best this time around.
Oh yes, I am determined.

Anyways, it's like 18:00 so I leave my books and head upstairs to my bedroom and begin to read a novel.
As I'm reading, I get a text.

Alex: 😊Nana

Savannah: 😃😄hey you. How are you?

Alex: I'm actually sick with the flu. So I'm probably not gonna go to school tomorrow.

Savannah: Aww shame, will I at least see you tomorrow? Should I go to you?

Alex: Nah. I don't really feel like doing anything tomorrow.

Savannah: Uhmm..

Alex: What?

Savannah: So you do not wanna see me tomorrow?

Alex: I'll just see you another day. No big deal.

Savannah: Last week we already made plans to see each other tomorrow. Now you are just going around and changing everything like it's no big deal?

Alex: You're acting like I'm saying we'll never see each other again.

Savannah: We might as well.

I go offline and turn my WiFi off.

Aggh! I'm so annoyed! I mean, other days he is so eager to see me, but then all of a sudden on VALENTINE'S FREAKING DAY, he doesn't wanna see me? What the actual fuck? It makes no sense.
I don't think I'm over-reacting. I'm one of those people, and it's not unreasonable, who expect you to do something if you say you're gonna do it.
I mean okay yeah, now he is sick, but I offered to even go to him. He has to put no effort in whatsoever.
So then?

Whatever. I'm just gonna watch a movie on my laptop and cry about my life. (I do this sometimes. I cry in bulk. When something goes wrong, I cry over everything that's wrong in my life.)

So now I'm crying over the fact that my family is so fucked up and how I miss my mom and how I might be getting played but I don't know. How I miss Ariana.
I miss my hometown.
I just don't like this life. I never asked to be put into this life and now I gotta live and try. Agggghhh it's so much work.
And people just want stuff all the time.

Whatever. I'm just gonna have an early night.
So I get under my bed covers and pray and then drift into a calming sleep.

I wake up to that irritating thing (my alarm).
I switch it off and turn my WiFi on and check my messages.

Alex: What the hell?😦

Alex: Savannah you can't just say stuff like that.

Alex: Can we at least talk before you go on and decide that?

Alex: Well goodnight then I guess. I hope you have sweet dreams. I'm sorry for upsetting you. But when you're done throwing your tantrum and you come back online then you'll see that maybe this conversation escalated unnecessarily. Of course I wanna see you tomorrow nana. So if you still wanna come?