Defeated

~Chapter 4~

Today I woke up feeling super sad. I would have seen my best friend, but she lives 1000 kilometres away. I had to move to this town a while ago. I don't have anyone that I feel close enough with that I could just pour my heart out to.

I miss my best friend. She always made me feel better about my life and about myself in general.

Now, I feel so sad. I wasn't expecting to see Alex today or anything. But he just showed up, unannounced.

He finds me crying and so obviously, he comforts me, but wants to know what exactly is up, you know.

"My mom divorced my dad a few years ago, around my 13th birthday. I was only hurt because I had to find out from someone else and I was living with her. She decided to keep quiet about it, but kept bringing this man into the house."
So I start explaining exactly what happened over the years.

He was a dark man in complextipn and chubby. I didn't like him one bit, but I was used to my mom bringing strange men into the house, even while she was married to my dad. See she didn't live with him.  She lived far away from him because she "couldn't find a job around the place where he lived", but I know she just couldn't stand to be close to him for too long. They were never good for each other; I honestly don't know how they fell in love in the first place. My dad is not a bad person or anything, but they are just not good together. They are too different.

Back then, I preffered to stay with mommy, while my other siblings lived with daddy. I just got along with her that's all. We would fight a lot though, because we had the same type of personality, but I still preferred living with her.

The first time I had seen a strange man in our house was when I was seven. She said, "He's just a colleague of mine" for all of them. Damn, how many male colleagues does one have? I just went with it. If her doing that made her happy, then alright. It was a bit traumatizing though, I admit, watching them have sex at that age.

Mom and I went to a hotel and there were two beds in the bedroom. She told me to sleep on the one, by myself and that she would sleep on the other one. That was odd because she usually slept with me on the same bed. So anyways, I fell asleep, but I heard sounds that woke me up. I opened my eyes, only to scar me for life. It was dark, but I could still see what was happening between her and that man. There was so much action hey, the kissing, the touching, the grabbing, the sucking, the riding, the moaning, all the positions. After that evening, nothing she did ever surprised me again.

I guess she was finally over pretending to love my dad when she divorced him. He was completely shattered though. He loved her so much, still does. He is a pastor so he doesn't believe in divorces, but she had made her mind up.

I don't know why, but he would always talk to me about his heartbreak. He has other children, older children. I didn't want to hear that. I knew too much about what she had done behind his back, but I couldn't tell him. I knew so much about that marriage, I swear I was the third spouse.

So my cousin called me and she was like, "Savannah. I am so sorry about your parents getting a divorce."

I was like, "What? A divorce? What are you talking about?"

So that was when I found out. I was so hurt. Not about the fact that they were getting a divorce, I mean come on, that was bound to happen. But that she didn't tell me and I had to find out from someone else who lived in a completely different country, while I lived in the same damn house. I didn't confront her though; I decided to wait to see how long she would take to talk.

She took two months to tell me. I noticed that instead of bringing different men into the house, it was just that one - the dark, chubby man that I didn't like. That was so annoying because he wanted to talk to me all the time and tried to make me like him. He would give me money and buy me things. I mean, I took the things, but still. When are people going to learn that you can't buy one's love?