THE FORGOTTEN SMILE

15.

Everybody has a chapter they don't read out loud

***

P.O.V Maddie

I woke up to an empty bed. Weird because as far as I could remember I fell asleep with Dylan.

WAIT, I FELL ASLEEP WITH DYLAN?!

Oh gosh, what will he think. That I'm actually easy to get. Well I'm not, I'm not easy to get and I'm not letting him in. gosh Maddie, you are such a whore.

STOP

Why do I let these thoughts in, I hoped that with what happened yesterday it kind of would disappear. Well not I guess.

I sight deep and look up to the ceiling. How late is it?

10 AM

I'll have to wake up. NO. I want to sleep. I don't want to see Dylan and Nancy and Marc. Not after what I did. you selfish girl.

I stood up and walked down stairs. No one was there. I don't know why but I started to look for anyone.

I walked down stairs. This house has like a fancy basement were there are like gaming rooms and more, I haven't really looked there yet.

The sound of hard music came from one room. Someone has to be there. I opened the door.

Holy mother of god

I saw Dylan lifting what seemed very heavy weights. You could see his muscles even more and damn he looked hot.

'oh hey Mads' Dylan said some what awkward. He put down the weights and grabbed a towel.

Oh gosh he is very sweaty, which makes his very hot.

Oh no Maddie what are you thinking. He's NOT hot.

'hey' I greeted and I looked around the room. There were a lot of gym devices, I don't know how they work but they seem difficult.

'how did you sleep' he asks when he wipes his face with his towel.

Geez how freaking ho-

No Mads focus.

'eh okay, how long have you been up' I ask him and I try my best to focus

'since like 8' again I look around the room because, I can't focus.

'do you like work out' Dylan folliows my eyes

'no' I scoff

'do you want to work out' he asks and I hum

'I don't know'

'well feel free to work out. I mean we have the equipment and if you don't know how they work you can just ask' he smiles

'thanks' I look at Dylan 'why do you work out'

Stupid question mads. Of course he works out to have like a six-pack or something to get all the girls.

'well to clear my mind I think' he says surprisingly 'and with all of the stuff going on I kind of had to clear my mind'

I cough, I feel bad for hurting him. I mean he cried.

'oh sorry I didn't want to make you feel like bad-' he puts his hand on my shoulder and I look into his sorry eyes

'it's okay, it happened' he gives me a small smile

'well have you had breakfast' Dylan asks to change the subject.

'no'

'well let's eat then' we walk to the kitchen where Nina sits staring at her cereal.

See Maddie, you did that. You hurt her. You should've died, then they won't be this hurt.

I bite my lip to make the thought disappear. Bet it doesn't work

'hi mom' Nina looks up and gives me a mile. But it's not the smile form 2 days ago. It's a broken smile.

See, you did that.

'hi' I sit beside her

'how did you sleep' she puts her hand on mine and this time I don't pull it away

'fine, but I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know that I scared you and that you feel bad. But this is not your fault and' she stops me

'Maddie it's okay. I know it's not you fault, not my fault, not anyone's fault. I just' she stops and looks at our hands that are holing each other 'it is a lot to take in and it will take some time but you don't feel bad about that because it is not you fault'

I look into her eyes and she smiles a little. I give her a hug and stand up to walk towards Dylan.

'so what are we going to make' I ask

'banana pancakes, my special' he smiles

'well than I'll let you do your thing, I'm going to get dressed' I say wile walking to the stairs

'I'll see you in a sec' he says.

When I'm in my room the box with my razors caught my eye.

Should I do it?

I mean I hurt a lot of people, I do deserve it.

No mads, you don't deserve it.

I blink my eyes and turn to my closet. I change in some yoga pants and a big sweater.

When I brushed my hair I walk down stairs to the smell of pancakes.

I sit down by the table and look at Dylan cooking. He looks pretty cute, I mean in his tank top and his shorts he is very pretty and cute and.

'here you go' Dylan breaks my thoughts by giving me a few pancakes

'thank you' I say and he gives me another little smile

'hey Mads' he sits down with his plate

'yes what's up' I stuff my face with the pancakes

'oh my god these are good' I widen my eyes making Dylan laugh

'thanks but I wanted to ask if maybe you would want to go with me to the café again. I get it if you don't want to because this all kind of started there but I know you like the cheesecake and you deserve it' Dylan starts rambling again. He does when he doesn't want to say the wrong thing, or when he is nervous.

'Dylan, it's okay' he look s into my eyes

God damn he has beautiful Ocean eyes.

'I'll go with you' I break my own thoughts.

Why am I think all these thoughts. And I don't only mean the bad thoughts.

Also the ones about Dylan.

Oh gosh I'm not falling for him am I?