Fat Girls Return

17. You Like The Sims?

I wring my fingers together nervously as I try to decide what to order. It frustrates me that I'm letting such a simple decision cause me this much stress but I can't stop the thoughts running through my mind.

Should I order a salad? Anyone would know better than to believe that that's what I eat just by looking at my body. Theo would probably laugh and think 'Oh, look. The fat girl is trying to convince me that she isn't a pig.'

I panic and move on to the next option; I could order what I always get when I come here: a big plate of chicken alfredo pasta and an appetizer of mozzarella sticks. No; that's too much food.

I sigh and settle on a compromise.

"Can I have a small plate of chicken alfredo and a side salad, please?"

The waitress nods and Theo orders lasagna. We turn to each other and smile as the waitress walks away.

"So," Theo clears his throat for the fiftieth time tonight - maybe it's a nervous tick of his, "should we wait to work on the project until after we eat?"

Another internal wrestling match starts as I imagine eating in front of Theo with no science project drawing his attention away from my double chin.

"Um, sure," I smile nervously.

Theo beams. "Great."

We stare at each other awkwardly for a few moments before Theo clears his throat - again - and shifts in his seat.

"So, what do you like to do in your spare time?" He asks.

I notice myself subconsciously mimicking him as I shift in my seat and clear my throat before answering, "Well, I love to sculpt. Something about taking a lump of gray, boring clay and watching it transform into something not-so-boring before your eyes and knowing that you're the one that made that-" I pause, smiling to myself, "it just makes me happy."

I look up to find Theo observing me, a look I can't quite decipher on his face.

I blush, "What?"

Theo clears his throat.

'Drink some water, boy. Dang!' I stifle a laugh at the thought.

"Nothing," he laughs nervously, "it's just cool that you love sculpting so much."

I blush, grateful when the waitress blocks me from his view by leaning over the table to set free bread sticks between us before walking away.

"Your face lights up when you talk about it," he adds, smiling at me for a few moments before hurriedly shoving half a bread stick in his mouth with a worried expression as if to stop himself from saying anything else.

I smile to myself and hope my blush isn't still obvious.

"Well, thanks." I laugh. "I guess I do get pretty passionate when I talk about it. You should see me describing an actual project that I'm working on!" I exclaim, giggling. "I don't shut up about it."

Theo laughs lightly, meeting my gaze again. "I wouldn't mind," he says shrugging sheepishly, "I think it's great to have something you're passionate about."

I bite my lip and grin. "So, what are you passionate about?"

Theo ducks his head, smiling in embarrassment before looking up to meet my gaze, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Um, I play the sims. That's what I spend most of my free time doing, honestly." His cheeks turn red and butterflies twirl in my stomach. He's so freaking adorable!

I lean towards him excitedly, "No way! You play the sims?! I love that game!"

I realize how loud my voice is and blush before continuing with less volume. "I love the Sims 3 especially - that's the only version I ever play, really."

Theo's shyness disappears as he reciprocates my excitement and leans forward.

"What world is your favorite?" He asks, smiling with genuine interest.

"Bridgeport," I say without hesitation, "I love the butterfly garden."

Theo nods, "It's beautiful. I like Bridgeport, too - especially the fact that you can live in a skyscraper but my favorite world is from an expansion pack "Into the Future." Technically, it's not it's own world because you have to start somewhere else first and then travel to it but I love it."

I giggle - of course Theo would like the expansion pack with the most geeky features. I love seeing him so animated. Theo's right; it is fun to watch someone describe something they're passionate about.

Theo lists a few more things he loves about the sims and listens while I talk about the latest family that I've created before the conversation starts to shift as our food arrives and we start to eat. Surprisingly, I find that I'm more comfortable eating in front of Theo than I thought I'd be. I still feel nervous and ashamed of my weight but the thoughts don't stay for long as I find myself enthralled with our conversation. The poor butterflies in my stomach haven't had a rest tonight - every time Theo smiles they're called into action.

The waitress walks over a while later with a tired smile on her face.

"I don't want to rush you two but I just wanted to let you know we close in 30 minutes, okay?" Her eyes crinkle beautifully at the corners and her irises sparkle,  - she strikes me as loving grandmother figure, a personality I personally love. I smile at her and make a mental note to tip her well.

Theo raises his eyebrows, after looking at his watch with wide eyes. "We've been here 4 hours?"

He raises his head to make eye contact with me, "It doesn't feel like it's been that long."

"Four hours?" I look at my phone in disbelief before looking back at Theo.

I laugh and start gathering my things. Theo does the same and we both make sure to leave a tip for our waitress before walking out of the restaurant.

Theo smiles at me, the evening sun creating a golden glow around him. My heart skips a beat.

Theo clears his throat one last time, reaching up to rub his neck before he says, "Well, I had fun. I guess I'll see you on Tuesday?"

I smile, "See you then."

We say goodbye and go our separate ways. On my way home I realize: we never even worked on our project.