Homecoming (Lesbian)

CHAPTER 29

Faye sighed, stood up and walked towards the corner with her hand in her mouth. She was actually considering it, but she wasn't sure what to do.

"I... I want to. Since you've gotten back, he's being worse. More possessive, controlling. Always keeping his hands on me at parties, doesn't let me talk to anyone or do anything. He's being checking my phone, for God's sake! Always asking where I am, why am I not home to greet him after a hard day at work. Whenever I tell him I had a hard day at work too, is like he doesn't care. He's becoming so... authoritarian."

I stood up. "Is he...?"

"No! No. Scott can be a lot of things, but a wife-beater is not one of them. But he has gotten worse. He wasn't like that in the beginning. I guess we both know."

"What?"

"That I was bound to go back to you sooner or later."

I walked up to her and hugged her. She felt warm, her hair smelled of her shampoo mixed with the dust of the bookstore.

"Ry?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"I need you to come with me to a place."

I pulled back. "Where?"

The taxi stopped and Faye paid for it. I got out, kept the door open for her and as she walked out of the cab, I didn't have time to see where she'd brought me, until I looked up.

"The Saint Mary-Anne Cemetery?" I glanced down at her. "Oh, no."

"Why?"

"There is a reason I don't visit anyone. I get... weak."

She smiled. "Yes, I think that's the whole point. I need to see him, please. Let's go quick, the cemetery closes in an hour."

Faye held my hand and we walked through the paths and graves to left and right. I hadn't gone visit him for a reason. I don't believe I am strong enough to deal with watching the grave. Thing is, until you see the grave, until you see that their bodies really are underground, you can cheat yourself into believing that they just aren't home. You can act as if they are still alive, you just don't get to see them. But as we got closer to Erick's grave, I knew that dream was shattered.

Erick Josef Burton

Loving father, husband and son

Will always be remembered

Faye kneeled in front of the gravestone and said, "Hey, dad. Riley's back."

I approached them slowly, as if to stop myself from accepting it. But I was too late, there he was. For a moment, I thanked God I wasn't there for the burial.

I sat next to Faye and stayed quiet. The letters of his name were carved in a golden color over the white background. It seemed as if his name was shining. I ran my fingertips through each letter, not sure of what I was expecting to feel. Maybe a connection with him, maybe a word of advice, maybe a word of comfort. Anything. But there was nothing, because he wasn't there. He lived in our memories now and that is all we had from him, and with time, that was more than enough.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be here for the funeral, dad," I said.

We didn't say anything else.

There's something odd about visiting a grave. When you are not in front of their resting place, you miss them, you suffer, you cry their absence; but when you are in front of their graves, with the silence of the cemetery, eventually, you feel nothing but comfort. You miss them, but without pain this time. As funny as it sounds, being afraid to visit Erick's grave, the more I visited it over the next few months, the more I got used to the idea that he wasn't with us anymore and that was fine because we did have him for many years and those memories won't go away.