Conquerors of the New World ✓

CNW 41: His Feelings

I felt him sighed before he stood up. Inalis nya ang kamay ko sa aking mukha at sinimulang punasan iyon gamit ang kanyang panyo. “Grade 10, first day, he admitted that he has his eyes on you. Binalaan ko na sya dahil kilala kita. You have no interest in boys, especially in guys like him. But he is Stanley, he kept his feelings for you until he got a change to express it, and I think you mistook it for something else.” I mistook it for sibling's love. “But don't worry, he'll move on, just give him time.”

“Pero… nasasaktan sya kuya,” Muli ay tumulo ang aking luha na pinunasan nyang muli.

He chuckled without humor. “No one can stop him, until he decides to stop.” Inayos nya ang mga buhok na nakadikit sa aking mukha. “Pain is one of the natures of love, and it will make him stronger.” He gave me smile. “Alam ko namang nakakahalata na rin 'yon, but can I have a request, Princess?” Tumango ako habang patuloy sa pagsinghot. Muli ay pinunasan nya ang aking pisngi.

“Let him realize that he has no chance to get you.” Napasinghap ako sa kanyang narinig at sabay-sabay na umiling.

“I—I can't do it. That's c—cruel,” Nanluha ang mata ko— ulit. “I can't hurt him,” more…

“Trust me, you're already hurting him,” Ouch! Mas lalo akong napaiyak na ikinatawa nito. “Sorry, but Princess, that's the only way we can do for him to stop and you know that.” Humalik ito sa aking noo bago tumayo. “I'll just get you some water, okay?” Tumango lamang ako habang nakayuko pa rin at muling umaagos ang luha.

Shit. Stanley… “Bakit ako pa?” Bulong ko sa aking sarili at muling napahagulgol.

I can't… I can't bear to see him hurting because of me!

“Because you're unique and pure. You aren't scared of letting other to hear your thoughts. You're brave, and your beauty is regal. I just lost it.” Mabilis akong napabaling sa pintuan ng unit— err, tent ni Dustine nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses na iyon.

There, standing him with his hands on both of his pants' pockets. He looks so strong because of his lean body. Para bang ang lakas-lakas nya, huwag ka lang titingin sa kanyang asul na mata na parang isang tulak na lang ay iiyak na.

I hitch my breath, and before I know it, I'm already crying. “Stan…”

Tumingala ito. He heaved a deep sign before he started walking to where I am. “D—mn, I made you cry again.” Tumingin sya sa akin at nakita ko ang pagtulo ng kanyang luha. “Don't cry please?”

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at mabilis na napatakbo sa kanyang gawi. I hug him like my life depends on him. “Stan… Stanley… I'm sorry! I really am!” Patuloy ang pag iyak kong sabi. Hindi ito nagsalita ngunit naramdaman ko ang pagganti nya ng yakap sa akin, mas mahigpit na para bang iyon na ang huling yakap nyang gagawin.

He buried his face on my neck as I felt those hot waters from his eyes. “F—ck, Alam ko namang una palang, walang wala na 'ko, pero pagdating sayo, napapasugal ako eh.” He tightened his hug on me. “I'm not asking you to love me back, ang hindi ko lang maintindihan, bakit sya na kakikilala mo palang? Nandito naman ako, oh. Handa naman kitang saluhin.” Mas lalo akong napahagulgol at paulit-ulit na nagsorry sa kanya.

He sighed deeply again. “Lingon ka rin paminsan-minsan, nandito lang ako at hindi lilisan.” He sang. “I love you, Levina. But I know you can't love me the way I'm loving you. T*ngina, ang sakit pala.” He chuckled without humor. Naramdaman kong kakalas sya sa kanyang pagkakayakap kaya't umiling ako at mas hinigpitan iyon.

Why do I felt like it is the last time I can hug him?

“Bitaw na, aking prinsesa. Baka ako'y umasa pa.” Ngunit hindi ako nakinig sa kanyang sinasabi. Sinimulan nyang haplusin ang aking buhok.

“Pakakawalan kita kasi mahal kita, pero sa oras na saktan ka nya, hindi ako magdadalawang isip na agawin ka sa kanya.” Bulong nya sa akin. Mas lalo akong napaiyak at yumakap lamang sa kanya.

Natatakot akong baka kapag binitawan ko sya, tuluyan na syang mawala sa akin. I can't lose a brother, please!

“Y—You're still my kuya, 'di ba?” Himihikbi kong sabi.

He chuckled before he kissed my forehead. “Iyon lang naman ang role ko, 'di ba?” Hindi ako sumagot. He chuckled again at ginulo ang aking buhok. “Of course I am. I love you, Princess.”

“I—I love you, kuya.” I whispered, and I mean it.

“You just said you love me… pero ang sakit-sakit.”

I don't know but… that'll be the last time I'm going to hear his voice.
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AaAhHh!! I'm sad! Pero kailangang dumaan dito para sa lovelife ni Stan ko. Huhuhu joke. Pero nalulungkot talaga me : (