Chaos [vxbts]

Chaos: the disregarded sunshine

Posterior that night, the recognized sunshine of the posse, wailed. It was the scarcest event to befall, however, his loved amity did die. His trusted friend did die without a proper goodbye or even a hug.

His mum appeared to scorn the brunet whom expired as she not ever gladdened the redhead about it that nocturnal but attempted to indoctrinate his son that Taehyung was the worst person she and he had ever encountered.

The sight of the hope's swollen eyes would probably make you commiserate for him. Although, he would now never let anyone see him in this state, as the only person he used to share his sorrow with perished.

Tears failing to halt, he reached for his laptop. In the indistinctly stricken room, the screen of the laptop shone brightly, projecting the redhead's face with a sickening hue of green.

He clicked onto his diary stored in his mainframe.

Without his usual beam, he began typing.

---

Dear Taehyung,

I know this will never stretch to you, but this is the only way that I can convey my feelings amassed to you.

Your boxy smile, it seems like it's inaccessible now, without your existence nearby.

I must let you know this but, your smile is like my sunlight. And because of your grin, I became the sunbeam of the group. Meaning, I'm technically the secondary glare?

Without you, days will be convoluted, but if you were here, you would probably tell me: 'get over it' or 'hey, don't cry!' or 'smile! You're the sunshine of 6 people!'. So, I'll live up to your statement. I will keep up with my optimistic façade, although it is almost unfeasible to do so. How could I though? When my dearest comrade passed away? How can I? When I cannot even protect your reputation?

Mum keeps on telling me that you're an appalling person when she does not even know how you stayed by my side, when I was being abused and fought back. How can I face such a wrench? How may I even fight back my benefactress?

I'm such a coward, because I know if you were in my place, you would already have your mum's ass kicked. I miss you so much. Why did your life have to be shortened because of some stupid hit-and-run jerk? I don't even know how much longer I could linger on being the sun of the cluster, when I cannot even stay positive myself?

Tae help me. I don't know what to do or say to the others. Please. Please come back.

Even if you show up in my dream, I would be grateful. If not, just exhibit up while I'm sleeping and perhaps write a short message? Even if it's just a diminutive emoticon I would be appreciative. Even if you don't reveal yourself, please read this text, that I keyed heartily.

I want to see you so badly, that I considered ending it all. Ending everything today, but your photograph reminded me to reside. Stay alive and beam for individuals who cannot and help them to survive. However, I feel like my cheerfulness left me a long time ago. I truly crave for your voice, that soothe me all the time. I need your smile, to reassure me. I require your laugh to infect me with joy. I necessitate you.

Is this manuscript getting too lengthy? I should finish this communication with a sprinkle of laughter, but I can't. I'm sorry that I failed you. I'm sorry that I can't be your sunshine. I'm sorry for being a burden. I'm sorry for saying sorry. I'm sorry that I love you...

I'm sorry that I desire for your pat on the head. I'm sorry that I cannot act like an elder but be like a minor. I'm sorry that I love every single thing about you. I'm sorry that I could not be by your side when you entailed someone. I'm sorry for being hopeful and think that you are still here. By my freaking side!

I'm sorry, for everything. If I hadn't called you out for a hangout session, you would not have died. I'm sorry that I don not have the guts to tell my mum that, it was me who made you stayed for detention with me. I'm sorry that I became your friend and carried on feeling this useless adoration for you. I'm sorry that I cannot be jovial and continue on your spirit.

I'm sorry...

Love from:

The disregarded sunshine.

Hoseok.

---

Aftersigning off his piece of writing to Taehyung, he wept himself to sleep thatnight.    

~

a/n: I feel like today is 'posting day' for me.  I posted a tons of things today. As usual, my little speech is starting:Thanks for reading this! Please check out my other stories! Also, feel free to comment down your feedback, I love reading them (although I don't have any...). Please continue to support this tale and have a fabulous day/night! Thanks for 5 views on this! I really appreciate it! 

~goyangi-si

Tired out!