Tall Insomniacs.- (Connor Murphy X reader)

Chapter 12.

A/N: do you ever have those depression mood swings where you were okay but now your not, Yea I decided to write about that and how I'm feeling right now. This is based on the song 'I'd rather be me.' And lastly, 'waving through a window.'

~Y/N's POV~

Everyone finds light in something. It could be a person, a place, or even a thing. It just takes a while to find it. In my case it was a person. A very tall, Depressed, person.

I wondered if I was his light. That rare sliver of light in his eyes. But maybe it was a feeling. No. At least not for me. I know it's bad to rely on someone so much, but it was kind of... Euphoric?

All my life I've been on the outside. Not really bullied. Not really noticed. I've just been some kind of Hero in waiting. Waiting for someone to notice me, to see me. Yet no one has. The funny part is I don't think I wanted to be noticed up until Connor, you know the saying "stop before you start." That's my life. Step out of the sun if you keep getting burned. No matter how Loud I yell they don't hear me. They never did. Until now, it's always been wear something that won't get you socially ridiculed, be nice and shy, or mean and dumb, or the perfect daughter. Yet for some reason, Connor saw me. Granted, he did slam me into a locker the first time we met. And suddenly don't care about any of those 'rules: to survive.'

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Connor sighed and tapped his pencil, repeatedly, on the desk. His eyes danced over to Y/N, who scribbled down on her paper. I was snatched (A/N: I don't know why but that word is so funny to me.) from my thoughts by a call from the teacher.

"Murphy! Office, now." He barked. To be honest I didn't know what I did this time. I obliged and walked out class. I could feel Y/N's eyes following me down the hall.

~Y/N's POV~

My eyes trailed down the hall to the office. I stopped my writing and nibbled on the tip of my pencil. What did he do, this time? I put my tip back on the paper and continued my work, only getting in a few words before the teacher stopped us.

"Okay, Your dismissed. Please hand in-" it was all tuned out. Where was Connor? Is he okay? What if he needs help? What if-? My breathing started to get heavy and I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around hoping to see Connor, but instead.... Jared.

"Hey, calm your shit. He's okay." Jared shushed me. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"My shit is officially calmed." I smiled. I saw Evan creep up behind him and lace his fingers with Jared's.

"Y'know your actually a sweetie once I get to know you."

"Oh no!" Jared gasped. "I can't have Y/N Hansen Ruining MY reputation!" He laughed. Evan smacked his side lightly, it was like his body shrunk into his shirt. Evan touched his stomach, shit.

Long story short: not even Evan can touch Jared's stomach. Jar says it's because he's ticklish but I know the real reason. In sixth grade I head crying in the boys lockeroom during lunch, Jared. He cried on my shoulder and vented about how 'horrible' he is, with his stretch marks and body. That's why Evan reassured him every day he's the 'most handsome boy in the world.'

Under Jared's cocky personality, there's a sweet, insecure, boy.

I grabbed my books and walked out the classroom with Kleinman, and Ev. Down the hall, I put my books in my locker, and thought. My eyes danced over to the office windows, were Connor stood. The principle didn't look angry, I couldn't read him. He signaled for Connor to leave, my eyes snapped back to my books. The shiny, hard cover.

Connor walked out of the Office looking disgruntled. He made his way over to me, and rested his arm on my head. "I'm feeling violated." I mock offended.

"Your just to fucking short." He snorted. I turned to him and gave him a hug. My arms wrapped around him and I didn't let go for a while.

"Everything okay in there?" He huffed and leaned on the lockers.

"Yea. Just some stupid fucking thing."

"Language." He scoffed. "Wanna tell?"

"No."

He wrapped his arm around me and engulfed me in a hug. I didn't care if anyone stared. "Jared told me you were fucking spazzing out earlier." I smiled at his remark.

"Kinda. But you sure everything's okay."

"Positive?" He popped the 'P'.  I nodded.

"I just feel like sometimes I'm trapped In the middle of the ocean, no where to go, and then Your there, and it's all okay. I just was worried something happened to you." I laughed a bit. "But hey fuck em all, am I right?" I stuck up my middle finger proudly and Connor joined in.

"Fuck em all." He whispered. I grabbed his hand and my bags, then pranced down the hallway, laughing.

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We sat at the park bench, silently. His arm was Around me, and I leaned on his shoulder. Everything was serene, perfect. It wasn't too hot or cold, but perfect.

Two friends. On a perfect day.

"Right there-" I pointed to a large tree. "That's were Evan Fell." He nodded and tightened his grip. The zippers and buttons on his jacket scratched my arm, but I didn't want to bother him.

"He fell?"

"No..." my voice trailed off. "But, he doesn't want to talk about him, and I won't force him." Connor nodded. We sat in silence, laughing at the occasional person who tripped on their dog leash. A lady in a bright green tank top, tripped over her four Dogs, and landed on her ass. Me and Connor exchanged glances, then started hysterically laughing, not caring if she noticed.

"Young people..." she muttered and walked off. I wiped my eye and Connor just stared at me.

"Your beautiful." He blurted out.

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I'm feeling better emotion wise now. Im definitely a bit happier, which is good. 🛑I'm adding in Alana next chapter, it's going to be based on life boat 🛑ALSO, DID YALL HEAR ABOUT THIS NET NEUTRALITY SHIT ITS TOO COMPLICATED FOR ME. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I thought we needed it. I like this chapter a lot. Later you'll find out what happened in the office. I think I might face reveal soon! Sincerely,

Me.