Jjuice 🌺

New Me ???

As i sit there with Isaiah sleep on me  i know this moment couldnt an wouldnt last it was the heat of the moment for the both of us!! No feelings attached so i think 🤔 but maybe im wrong i know i still want to figure out away to make this work with Zayne an i cant get swept up in the moment!!

I ease off making sure i don't wake him, i walk too the shower 🚿 and i look at myself in the mirror an all i can think about is Isabella  i don't know 🤷🏾‍♀️ how ima get thru this how did my life become so hectic an fucked up !! It feels like I'm cursed or something i cant stand it!!  I gather my strength an get in my stand up shower i scrub the hell out of my skin like im trying to wash my sins away. My wounds are still tinder an fresh Im still recovering but these scars are hideous i cant deal with the way i look 👀!! I get out the shower an go in my room too my closet and i find everything possible that i could ever want its beautiful shoes, & clothes i swear he went all out!! I sit there putting on my clothes an i notice as I'm getting dressed i see Isaiah in the reflection of the mirror watching me.

" wassup Zay ??"
"I was just watching you, I'm bout too head down too eat with yo family. I guess your father want to discuss somethings with everyone. I was just going to see if u wanted to walk down with me or what ever??"
"Lol, i can see your not very good at this but sure ill accompany you down there!!"

He walks away so i can finish getting dressed i guess he has no comment on what just happened between us, but if he wont bring it up neither will i. Why, he so nice to me now i don't understand he was so rude when he first met me a couple months back! I swear niggas an there moods 😴 an they call females bipolar i beg to differ!!

I slide on something simple an casual an meet Zay by the door 🚪!! We keep are distance as we tak the elevator down. My heart ❤️ wont stop pounding this shit is out of control its like this every time im near him. Finally the damn elevator dings i hurry out making my way too the dining hall with Zay not to far behind me.

We enter the Hall and i see everyone already seated i tak my seat 💺 next too my father while Zay sits by his Sister and of course zayn is their his body language reads he's not what so ever interested in being here along with everyone else's parents. Im afraid too ask what type of meeting this is because im terrified of The answers i might get The Carters, The Valentines, The Frenchies, The Santiagos and of course my Family The Cortez are all sitting at this table !! We sit there with no conversation for a while the food starts being passed out 😵 an we all dig in!!

My dad is the first too speak " you all know what has happen in the last two weeks with my daughter an granddaughter an her mother!!"

I swear hearing him say these words were like alcohol being poured on a cut or someone making a tight fist around my heart ❤️ the tears threatened too fall but I wouldn't let them. They will NOT know how weak i am i refuse to give into that, so i sit a little straighter an I make direct contact with everyone in the room too let them know just who they are dealing with i don't know where this fire 🔥 in me cane from but I'm glad its there because with out it I probably wouldn't even make it thru the rest of this meeting alive!!!

" Yanni, i know it might be too soon to ask but i was wondering if you thought over your Decision on not taking place in this business deal ive had for you."

I look at my dad because it is a little to soon to be talking about this, but i know he's not just going let it go and i have been thinking that this might be a good move for me instead of me being out of loop on everything thats going on.
"Yes father ive thought about it and i think its best if i did take my spot but only on one condition!!??"

"Ok and whats the terms, baby girl ??"
"I and everyone here can marry who ever we wont because honestly I'm not ready for marriage I'm only 18 and i need to get myself more established and more trained for this whole ordeal we have going on. NO MORE of these fucked traditions y'all got going on and no forcing no one to do nothing they don't want to do. Im not taking NO for answer either, because as much as you don't want to admit it you need me to close off this circle ⭕️ seeing how your granddaughter is no longer with us any more. I will run everything my way on my terms i have nothing to do with everyone else approach on there ends with there business plan but mine
Will be ran with a iron fist once I'm caught up everything that I haven't been apart of these last 18 years !! Do we have and agreement mr.Cortez?? "