„The brightest light in the darkest night"

"The beginning of the end". (The end of me)

*Petes P.O.V. *

7 years...since the beginning of the band and the release of three studio albums

Take this to your grave,

Infinity on high

and Folié a deaúx...

and countless other singles and ep's....

7 years since Joe, Andy,Patrick and I aren't just friends but a family who holds each other's back doesn't matter what comes...shall it be anxiety,depression,homesickness, the hate of some so called fans who just keep on complaining about everything we do doesn't matter what is is...our newest album,the looks of Patrick or the way our music has changed since „Take this to your grave" ...or the way we have changed over the years. We got older and maybe even wiser ...well at least some of us.

7 years since I do what makes me happy ...
writing lyrics,playing the bass,performing with my best friends on stage in front of people who love us and are inspired by our music,
giving people out there hope that doesn't matter how dark an cruel this world seems to be how manny tears they have to shed,
how many times they think the end is coming but nobody hears their silent screams,
how manny fake-friends they have to endure till it gets better,
until they realize that there are things and especially people and friendships out there which are worth fighting for doesn't matter how tough life can get...that even so fucked up people like me can find a purpose in life,that they aren't worthless cause nobody's worthless...

Don't you ever think that you are worthless.

Never.

7 years since my best friend had a panic attack right before one of our first concerts ever and I comforted him,
promised him that I will always hold his back,
that I would cancel every single concert if he shouldn't be able to perform ,
that I would never let somebody harm him,
that he could always count on me,
that I will always be right next to him whenever he should need me...                 

So  usually I'm not one to break promises...

I tried so fucking hard... really...I tried and I'm still trying...

I may am a disappointment in the thoughts of some people shall it be my parents or the public because of the lates headlines in some newspapers about some pictures of me or some shitty interviews taken out of context, but that didn't matter as long as my friends could count on me and my promises whatever should come.
I've never cared what people thought of my actions,my suicide attempt,my odd looks or me...but I could not ever harm or disappoint one of my friends, my family but especially Patrick who has done way more for me than I could ever make it up to him.
He was the one after getting the information of my suicide attempt, running straight to my house without a second thought, in the middle of the night, slamming against my door and screaming and cursing my name what a moron I am to do this...until I opened the door. He  was the one besides Joe and Andy who helped me the most to recover besides these fucking therapist who didn't even tried to understand me and declared me for insane right away.He was always there for me.

But.... what am I supposed to do if I'm breaking...if I'm having insomnia for several weeks...if I'm far away from being sane and one step away from being insane...