Who do think you are?

Enough to last

Hey look at that! An on time chapter! Such a first for you! Yeah yeah, also you should know I wrote half of this today. I know this is short, but I'm way happier about how this turned out in comparison to the last chapter. I may end up rewriting that one (assuming I don't just rewrite this whole thing) but that's neither here nor there. All in all, I'm way happier with this one. I can't say when the next one will be out, but sometime around June 20th. No later than the 30th tho, I can promise you that.

Disclaimer: I don't own blue exorcist. Boom done, on with the chapter.

As Rin sat there, curled up in a ball gasping for air, he wondered why he couldn't hear anything. Normally these panic attacks left him whining, whimpering, and sobbing. The more logical side of Rin told him to try to speak, and he could scarcely make a sound, let alone a scream.

Great, just another fuck up on your part.

Rin sobbed into his folded arms, curling into a tight ball. His silent cries going unnoticed to the other two people in the house. Rin wasn't aware of much, only that he crying, utterly miserable, and that everything hurt. Every little bad thing someone had said about him, both others and himself, came into his head.

'That boy must be the child of Satan. He isn't normal.'

'Keep that demonic thing away from my child!'

'Get that demon away from me!'

'Just go and die already!'

'How can you be so stupid?! I mean Yukio is so smart!'

'Why can't you just disappear? It would make it easier on the rest of us!'

'I can't believe I adopted you on some days!'

Rin sobbed harder at the last one. Shiro had said that. Rin knew that he'd been on his wits end and frustrated, but hearing that still hurt. For Rin, it didn't matter that he'd apologized, the damage was done. Now Rin could barely think of his father without remembering the venom he'd spat at him in their last moment together. And what he wanted to say to him now. A part of Rin was almost relieved the old man was dead. God knew what Rin would've done to him after finding out the truth.

Yukio was, of course, a different story. Rin was angry, yes, but he didn't feel that same venom he felt towards Shiro. Perhaps it was just the fact that they were brothers, or the fact that Yukio was just as much a victim of their father's lies, if not more. At the very least Rin was above taking his anger out on his brother. He wished Yukio had returned the courtesy. Rin found himself allowing his blue flames out, just a bit. They circled his body in the strange, yet oddly familiar warmth they carried with them. A small comfort to the half demon, but little more. At the very least he wasn't ashamed of them the way he had been, even his heritage was far from something to be prideful about. It didn't define him.

At this point the tears were slowing, and Rin was calming down. He really just wanted to get in bed and forget this whole nightmare, but he was too exhausted to move. A part of Rin wished he hadn't thrown the knife away, the rest of him knew his arms would be littered with fresh cuts if he still had the blade. That was enough to completely snap Rin out of the emotional haze he'd been in. No. He wasn't going back to that.

But you almost did.

The cold realization hit Rin harder than he wanted to admit. He almost died, again. Suddenly Rin was relieved of the sudden failure of his voice, letting a silent scream into the soundless void. Rin felt another wave of exhaustion overtake him. He sighed. 'I really wish someone was here right now.' Rin thought to himself.

Maybe someone heard that wish, and the dork to Rin's room opened. "Hey Rin, are you okay? I thought I heard something and... Ah shit, Rin." Renzou said softly when he saw his boyfriend's position. He moved to his side, kneeling down to wrap his arms around Rin. Rin buried his face in Renzo's shoulder, shaking. "Hey, hey. It's alright. What happened with him is in the past. Whatever happened is in the past." Renzo said softly, rubbing his back, feeling him take in little gasps of air as the other tries to calm the surging war in his mind. Renzo wished there was something he could do to help, that there was a way he could take his pain, but he couldn't. Eventually the storm calmed, and Rin was simply laying there, worn, spent, and numb.

Renzo noticed that Rin had calmed down, and let out a breath. "Let's get some sleep. You look exhausted." He said softly. 'I am exhausted.' Rin wanted to say. He didn't though, he simply let Renzo pull him up and led him to the bed. Rin laid down and curled up, Renzo laying down next to him. He snuggled closer to Renzo, enjoying the warmth. He rested his head on his chest and closed his eyes, too tired to do little else. Before he finally drifted off, he felt a small kiss on the top of his head. "It'll be alright, Rin. We all love you so much." He said softly. Rin gave no sign that he heard, but the reassurance and the warm presence was enough for him. It was enough to last the night.   

So... any ideas on where I take it from here? I've honestly been winging it, and the outline I made at the beginning got scrapped ages ago. I'll take any advice, so say whatever. On that note, Ja ne and God bless. Been a while since I've said that, huh?