depressing thoughts

10

Holy shit yall I can't believe it. Yall got this work ranked in 3 categories and I can't believe that! I know I said that I appreciate you but really this is amazing! I never expected it. For all of your support I want to let you all know that this is work is for all of us I don't write for just me or just you guys I write for us all. 

This chapter is about the school I go to the good the bad the memories and everything it holds for me. I decided this as it is my last year here, I'm a junior but I am doing online classes next year! 

I attend BHS and have been a student here since 8th grade when I moved. I started here doing online classes in the Alternative Education Room. I didn't know anyone really except the kids who got sent there for disrupting class or breaking rules. Most of my graduating class didn't even know I was a student here until 2 weeks after I started classes here. I didn't know some of them but I knew a few from when I was younger and had lived in the area. 

I met a guy that I thought was okay and we talked and stuff for a few months before we got together. Most of my memories at this school involve him. I thought he made me happy at first I really did but I was so wrong after being with him for a month he forced himself onto me and made me have sex with him. He would hit me if I did something that I didn't ask him for permission to do this included but is not limited to: going to the bathroom, going to sleep, talking to anyone including my family, taking showers, going outside, going to any room in my house his house or any building i was in. He was definitely toxic but I thought I loved him I thought I didn't deserve better. I was at this school when I caught him cheating on me with my cousin. I stayed with him from my last week of 8th grade until the middle of summer between my 10th and 11th grade years. 

I was a student at this school when I first found out who I was and what I stand for. I was a student here when I had found out I was pregnant. I was at this school when I first saw the baby daddy, we aren't really together because of stuff from an earlier chapter but i'll post more about that in one of the next chapters. 

I have been through so much as a person here. I learnt a lot even if I didn't see it at the time and don't remember any of it now. I definitely will miss high school because of all the experiences that it has held for me. This school has caused stress the students have started drama. This school has pushed every button I have and made sure to test a few of the more than a couple of times. I have never admitted it but when people say that it goes by fast they were not lying. My freshman year seemed slow at the time but looking back it went too fast there were so many things that I could have done and been involved in but i missed the opportunity. My sophomore year went by fast and i knew it did too I was more involved with school activities and such but I still should have done more. It is the end of my junior year i have 2 and a half days left, it has went by so fast. My senior year will be spent at my house doing online classes for the duration of possibly one semester. I will graduate early and receive my diploma at normal graduation, which will be my final time in this school. 

I wish I could have been more involved with school this year but it was literally impossible. I can't do sports because of my pregnancy, I couldn't be in some of my classes due to allergies, I couldn't even wear my prom dress the whole duration of prom due to my pregnancy. I do not see my pregnancy as something holding me back ad that will keep me back but rather a hurdle that once i cross it will put me farther than i would be if I were never pregnant in the first place. If I didn't have my precious baby on the way I would not have even stayed in school let alone want to graduate. 

This high school holds so much for me and I encourage all of you that are in school to enjoy it while it lasts because it is over really quickly.