depressing thoughts

1

Things are getting worse. I never fell asleep easily before but now I can't fall asleep almost at all. I don't eat like I should. I try to for my baby but I have no will to do anything. I am failing classes in school because I can't do some of the stuff due to being pregnant and having allergies. Wow I guess my life is falling apart. No wonder everyone avoids me. I only have 2 people that I feel safe around, which is pathetic isn't it? The voices in my head keep screaming I need to end it all. I don't see the point of living. I wouldn't be missed by very many people maybe like 2 but that's probably over stating it. I know I can't take my own life because then I would be taking the babies life away too and that's not something I want to do. I couldn't possibly do that to my child, none of this is it's fault. On those rare occasions I do sleep I wake up screaming sweating and wanting to die. I have nightmares. 

I guess you might want to know who I am and why I am rambling on about all of this. Well I'm Hope and I guess I keep writing this stuff because it is the only thing that seems to help. I'm 17 and pregnant but you all already knew that. I have had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I haven't had the best life ever. I am a junior in high school. Well I don't have much more that I can say about me at the moment but I tend to draw a blank when I try to describe myself. If anyone actually reads this I will be surprised. If you read this and want to know any specific thing then feel free to tell me but again i doubt anyone would want to kno about me or even care enough to ask.