Deviation (Book #2 of the Taylor Series)

Annie Hall

The last thing that I'd wanted to do with my Wednesday night after being properly asked out by the Marty Hunter was to go to Bible Study with my siblings and the other young children who still play with dolls, believe in Santa, and keep asking me whether I'm a boy or a girl. Yet here I am, in the basement of our church, trying to pay attention to what our youth leader is saying while the kids run around in circles. 

The only real bother to me particularly is Elijah who keeps jumping in my lap, stays still for a moment, and then gets back up just to do the whole thing over again.

"Elijah, if you don't stop messing around and pay attention, I'm going to tell God that you didn't listen to this lesson." Lauren threatens with an authoritative, stern glare. I snort in response as he shrugs her off and continues running around. "That kid is definitely on drugs."

I shake my head, "It's just because you're doing the threats wrong, Lauren." I murmur, and she rolls her eyes.

"You give it a go, then." She demands, and I smile at the fact that she thinks I need her permission to boss little children around.

"There's a reason that I'm the baby whisperer in this family." I narrow my eyes at Elijah who has found another kid to run around with. "Elijah, sit down or I'm telling Mom." He immediately stops in his tracks. 

See, Lauren, you gotta use real threats. He didn't care about you telling God because he knows you'd have to get into heaven to do so and we all know how unrealistic that is." I whisper to my blonde, frowning sister sitting on my right side.

"Gee, thanks." She murmurs. She runs her fingers through the bright white strand of hair that she decided to bleach to quote-unquote 'give her dishwater blonde hair some pop without the sop'.

Of course, if I were born with such pretty blonde hair, I would leave it alone and let it prosper. Lauren, on the other hand, has decided to start doing strange things with her hair to make Danny's paintings of her diverse. I don't see why he couldn't just start painting other things.

"Alright, children, please... Let's calm down and get back to the lesson at hand." Javier, the youth teacher claps and stands in front of his metal chair.

He waits for all the kids and teenagers wearing proper tuxes and prom dresses to take a seat and shut up. I spot Elijah treading closer to us before he and Nathan take a seat on either side of Lauren and me. Once Javier sees that every single closeted-delinquent and pothead is sitting down quietly, he clears his throat and places his hand dramatically on his chest.

"I want to begin this lesson by saying that I had a dream the other night-- a nightmare rather, where I was walking through a dark tunnel with neither a flashlight nor a candle. I heard screaming from millions of different voices. 'Get out!' They cried, 'Get out while you still can'. I, being a clumsy person, tripped every few steps, but finally I made it to the end. 

There, sitting in a chair made of onyx encrusted with bones and molars, was a man who seemed to be half goat and half man- with black eyes that glowed red from within. He introduced himself as 'Lucifer'. Yes, that's right, Satan himself.

Our lovely pastor David and his wife, Emily, believe that was the devil visiting me in my sleep. They believe it was some sort of warning that if I don't change my life and get my crap together, that I could be in the same place as the souls in hell.

Inspired by that dream, I thought it would be a great idea to plan a lesson on all the things we could do to better ourselves. We will all take a turn to stand, introduce ourselves, and explain what we've done wrong and what we will do to prevent from doing it again. Alright?" Javier looks around at all the kids. I nod slowly even though I feel a twitch in my stomach. That's just what I need. A church-based AA lesson.