depressing thoughts

2

Growing up

When I was growing up I didn't have my parents around. My parents signed a document giving me to my grandmother at 5 days old. My dad never once in my first few days held me. My mother gave me to my great grandmother to hold as soon as I was born and all cleaned up. They were young when I was born, my mother being 19, and my dad being around 20. My dad missed me being born because he was at work, he knew that my mother was in the hospital having me but he didn't show up until after I was born. He signed my birth certificate then left. I was born with a low birth weight being 5 pounds exactly. The day I got to leave the hospital my parents decided they were going to do drugs around me. They ended up getting arrested and my great grandmother picked me up from the police station.  I don't know a whole lot about all of this because every person in my family has told me a different story about it. I never really knew my mom, she left as soon as she could and only came back when my uncle would pay her to visit me. My dad was always in jail/prison but I was taken to see him once a week. I never hated my dad, but I did hate my mom. My family was what you expect from Illinois, country type people. Growing up living with my grandma and step grandpa wasn't terrible for me. I enjoyed it. My days consisted of playing outside in the woods or creek all day until the streetlights came on. Once it was dark I would go inside and take a bath, after my bath was dinner. Dinner was always steak of some sort with potatoes and corn on the cob. My favorite day of the week was when we ate deer steak with homemade mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. I had my owl little table I would sit at when we ate, we never sat in the dining room together. I would watch the simpsons as I ate. after dinner my grandma and I would lay in bed and watch scary movies. I had my own set of bunk beds but I always shared a bed with my grandma instead of sleeping on my own.