The Only Reason That I Sing

Chapter 10

"Why, Lucinda?" Shawn looked at me with his deep brown eyes. Tears streamed down my face and I screamed at him to stop. He cocked his head to the side.

"You let me die. Why would you do such a thing?" He wasn't yelling, more like taunting. But to me, my brother taunting me was like a meteor shower. He was my little brother. Not the freak that he was acting like. He was acting like Nathan.

I started to notice to the bruises and cuts around his face, arms, and legs. He looked worse off than the day he came home. I have never seen him like that, and it only scared me more. I shook my head and closed my eyes and tears started to stream down my face.

"Shawn stop it." I whispered. He kept going.

"You could have saved me. You could have stopped me from leaving the house."

"Please shawn." I spoke in a normal tone.

"I died. I left the world. And its all, your, fault." I couldnt handle it anymore. So I screamed,

"STOP IT"

{::}

I woke up in an emotionless bolt, as I panted softly and registered that it was only a dream. The sluggish body which happened to be my own, trudged acrossed the room and into the bathroom. I stared into the mirror at my lifeless eyes, and sighed as I washed my face and texted haley, telling her I would be at the Circle in twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes later, I pulled up in my red truck to the tall grey building, which we called the Circle. The thing looked rusted, as though it were a million years old. It had five floors, the top two having the windows completely blocked off by the people inside. No, it wasnt a drug house, but it might as well be with all the assumptions of it being such.

We called it the Cirlce because of the first and second floors being a circular commons area. It had tables rusted to match the rest of the building, and that was it. No Decorations. The third floor contained meeting rooms and a few bedrooms for the members who decided to lounge at the place for the night. Then the top two floors held rooms with individual punching bags for each member of the gang. Thats where I was headed.

"Aye, Luce!" Miranda shouted as I walked into the room. Everyone turned as I walked straight to the elevator as I did every day, without smiling, talking, or interacting with any of the girls in the room. They continuted their conversation as the elevator took me up to the top floor. The elevator was clean, unlike everything else. It looked as though it were brand new, the buttons being slightly polished as if we had someone clean them every day.

The doors opened wide, and I walked down the hallway, not acknowledging the three girls - Bailee, Jess, and Rilie- walking past. I pinned in the code to my room, which had the letter "L" scratched lazily into the black door with a knife.

Inside was a faded red punching bag, tied tight to the celing. It was old and used, but as good as any bag you would find in your normal sporting goods store. I had brought in a radio from my house, as well as some random Green Day albums, to keep me distracted before drug runs. I had some tape and rubbing alcohol in here for wounds but that was about it.

My phone buzzed and I pulled it out, rolling my eyes at the sight of Gerard asking me why I wasn't at school today. He should know by now that I'm not going to show up. Its been two months.

I gasped with shock, the first emotion I've felt it weeks. Two months. Shawn has been dead for two months.

The doctor walked out of Shawn's room and shook his head softly at my mother. She looked down and sobbed tearlessly. I leaned into Patrick's arms, sobbing, but with tears. He was gone. My baby brother was dead.