Meant To Be - Heaven Hill Series #1

Chapter Thirty

The sun was just beginning to break the horizon as Liam walked out of the warehouse that Denise had been held in. In his nostrils, he could still smell the burning flesh that had been Richard Joyce. When a member decided not to get rid of his ink after leaving the club, the club did it for him. This particular time, Liam had taken great pleasure in cutting the ink up into sections and then burning it off. He would be lying if he didn't admit that it had felt good and that's what worried him.

For the first time in his life, Liam felt bad about what he had done in the name of his club. He felt as if he wasn't worthy enough to go home and sleep with the woman who warmed up the other side of his bed. He worried that she would look at him differently. Hell, he knew after this he would look at himself different. Never before had he felt such euphoria as he had done something so heinous. It scared him in a way – he didn't want to be that man.

"You okay?" Tyler asked as he tipped a bottle of water over their hands, trying to clean as much blood off them as they could before the ride back to the clubhouse.

"Yeah, but I'm feeling some remorse – not for killing him – but how is Denise going to look at me now? And I felt good doing that. What does that say about me?" Liam ran his hands down his jeans, rubbing some of the water off.

Tyler, intelligent as always, leveled him with a stare. "She knew who you were when she got into this relationship with you."

Liam knew that Tyler spoke the truth, but he also knew that it was easy to overlook truths as long as they weren't staring you in the face. She had been witness to this first hand tonight.

"I know, but I hated doing that in front of her. I feel like she knows me as one way when I'm with her, but when I'm with you guys I turn into a different person. Things that shouldn't feel right do, and that's scary for someone who trusts me with her children. I can't even say I'm comfortable with the animal that came out of me tonight," Liam admitted. With Tyler he knew that he could be completely honest without repercussion.

"None of us felt good about it. At one time he was a friend, a brother, but we have to do what we have to do sometimes. In those hours that we did that, had he admitted to being behind Meredith's rape, I would have snapped and broken his neck. Without thought. Without a doubt. Without remorse. We are who we are brother, there's a little bit of warrior in all of us. That makes us who we are." Tyler always knew what to say, almost like he knew what Liam was going to say before he said it.

"This is the first time I've ever had to worry about what a woman would say. It's really the first time I've worried what anyone would say. I'm trying to keep a part of myself while I try to be what this club needs, but I worry that I'm in a losing battle. I don't want her to look at me with fear in her eyes. That's the last thing I want."

Tyler put his hand on his friend's back. "Something tells me that Denise understood this. She saw what Meredith looked like. I think she's okay with it, and if she's not then the two of you work on it. A relationship is about checks and balances. It's about coming to terms with what makes it work for both parties, not just one. I think she'll surprise you."

"Guess we'll find out won't we?"

Denise lay in Liam's dorm room, waiting for him to come back. She wondered what they would say to each other, if things would be different. The brutality he had used to attack Richard's body hadn't surprised her, but it had made her think of him as a different kind of man. Now she thought of him the way she did Tyler. It wasn't bad – just different.

The door opened quietly, and she knew by the footfalls that it was Liam. Quickly, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and raced to him. He caught her in his arms and held her tightly to his body, inhaling deeply and moving his hands to her hair, caressing her head and neck softly. The softness of the hands holding her reminded her just how different he was when they were alone and when it was about them.