After Curfew

Chapter 33 - Release

I was trapped in my mind as I stared out the window, The Weeknd's new EP playing on the aux as I drowned in a repetitive cycle of negative thoughts. And some sick part of me found pleasure in it too, I liked reminding myself that I killed someone. I'd gotten a quick fix of self-loathing and I was already becoming addicted.

Slate slammed his fist against the wheel pulling my attention to him. "Stop that toxic shït."

I laid my head on my propped up arm, staring straight out the windshield, blinking back the tears that were clouding my vision. I had no response, and his words were only choking me harder. I wanted to rip the whole fucking car apart but all I could do was sit there immobile, the self-hatred and anger paralyzing me.

He pulled into the valet parking at the airport, slamming the car into park before turning to me determinedly, and tugging my face to his. "I know what guilt does to you, okay? I've been through it," he tugged up the sleeve of his sweater to reveal his roman numerals tattoo, doing the same thing with mine a second later. "But goddammit Willow, you can't let it destroy you. You have two choices right now, you can either learn to live with it and work at forgiving yourself or you can let it kill you." I flipped my eyes up to his, taking my first full breath since West had told me the truth.

His blue eyes held me, pulling me in. "I won't let you choose the second option."

My breaths were shaky as his lips hovered over mine, his hands massaging through my scalp were meant to calm, but only raised goosebumps on my arms.

We were a circuit, electricity flowing through us at every connection, every light touch igniting a heat that was exhilarating but dangerous. Like we could catch fire and burn to the ground at any second.

"Did you take your own advice? Did you ever forgive yourself?" I whispered, my words melting in the heat around us. He moved towards me, trapping me against the car door as his lips traced over my jaw, down to my neck.

"This," he whispered, his thumb tracing the waistband of my jeans, making my breathing falter. "Allowing myself to feel this happiness, to feel you...this is me forgiving myself." He kissed me, calming the raging storm in me and igniting a new one.

I wasn't sure which would cause more destruction, but I knew only one had pretty blue eyes and a effortless smile that could convince me it was all worth it. It probably was.

~~~~~~~~~~~

After waiting in line for thirty minutes we finally got to security. Slate walked through the scanner first and I followed a second later but before I reached his side a TSA officer was pulling me to the side for a random check. The guy looked about 25 years old, well built with a nicely groomed beard that complimented his dark features. His expression was stern, like all the airport security, but it eased into a smirk as he spoke, "Don't worry it's just a random check, standard procedure."

Slate was at my side in a matter of seconds and I barely contained my laughter at his annoyed expression. "Yeah real smooth buddy, random check my ašš." The officer's eyes narrowed, his jaw tensing visibly at Slate's words. I pushed at his chest, "Slate calm down, it's not a big deal." Slate gave an exaggerated sigh, like the dramatic man I knew him to be.

He turned back to the officer with a nod of his head as he crossed his arms, making his biceps bulge under his black t-shirt. The officer and him were equal in size, but Slate was taller and made a point of looking down at him. "Go ahead man, don't let my presence stop you from doing your job." Slate said, causing me to nudge him with my elbow. He had the nerve to look back at me like I was the one being difficult. The officer barely checked me before mumbling that I was all clear and letting me go.