Torn In Between

Chapter 2

  But no matter why things are changing, we need to be able to let go and move on. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a painful breakup, a business failure, or a treacherous betrayal, holding onto pass pain and resentment will only hold you back.   

A tear suddenly escaped from my eyes when I saw him kissed her. They really looked in loved. I wiped my tears off at itinuon nalang sa libro ang atensiyon ko. Its been a week passed since Vane and I broke up but until now Im still in the process of accepting, not moving on, hindi ko pa yata kaya.

Free week ngayon sa lahat ng Senior High students, kakatapos lang kasi ng prelims namin though my classes kaming tini-take pero mga musics or arts yun. Next week ang starting ng regular class namin and may section na talaga. During June and July kasi, wala pang sectioning pero lahat ng kapareho mong strand nagsama-sama sa iisang room until prelim exams are done. Prelim exams basis kasi ang sectioning ng school dito kaya after prelims may free week kami dahil busy ang admin for the preparation sa regular classes namin.

I supposed to read a book here dahil sariwa ang hangin at may calm atmosphere pero hindi ko naman inexpect na ganito pala ang madadatnan ko. Nasa paradiso ako ngayon, it is an open-field lounge kung saan pwedeng tumambay ang mga estudyante dito. Isa itong grassland area, maraming kahoy kaya malaming ang palagid.

Napatingin uli ako sakanila, nakahiga si Vane sa lap niya while Jen gently stroking his hair. I envied them. I was about to shift my gaze away when Vane caught my sight. My breathe arched. Hindi ko alam kong iiwas ba ako o ano but I find myself staring back pero iniwas din niya ito. Im hurt.

" How can you move on kung palagi mo silang tinitingnan? " a voice from behind said. I wiped my tears at lumingon sa pinanggalingan ng boses. It was a tall teen male with a messy black hair and dazzling brown eyes. He had on a black sweatshirt with the word EUPHONICS  written on it, his body was lean and not too muscular. Another stranger again. Oh well, marami na palang transferees ngayon. Wala na naman kasi akong ibang close sa batch namin dahil hindi ako palakaibigan, not like her. I just rolled my eyes at ibinalik ang tingin sa kanila.

" I said, how can you move on when youre still after him? " as he sitted beside me. I looked at him. He gave me a smile. Nasilaw ako dun, ah.

" Why do you even care anyway? Sino ka ba? " pagtataray kong tanong sa kanya. Tumaas ang kilay niya sakin para bang hindi siya makapaniwalang hindi ko siya kilala. Artista ba siya?

" Youre joking, miss. Seriously, hindi mo ako kilala? " kumunot ang noo ko sakanya, familiarizing his face, hindi ko talaga siya kilala.

" Im not joking. I really dont know you. Ano ka ba? Artista? Oh well, Im not interested. " Nakita ko silang paalis na. I was about to stand up when he forecely pulled my tops down kaya napaupo uli ako. I glared at him. Sino ba siya sa inaakala niya?

" Ano ba! kung wala kang magawa sa buhay mo, pkamatay ka nalang! Stop pestering me " I angrily exclaimed. He smirked. I even heard him murmured ' interesting '

" I still need to introduce myself, Im To -- "

" I dont care. Aalis na ako " padabog kong kinuha ang mga gamit ko at umalis na when he shouted.

" See you around, Cassidy! "

Sheet! Did he just called my name? The f!

Kasalukuyan akong nasa library ngayon, nagpapalamig. Dapat talaga hindi nalang ako pumasok, may keri-keri pa kasing attendance ang admin. Naka indian sit ako sa sahig while reading my book. Sinuguro ko talagang walang makakita sakin dito kaya minabuti kong sa sulok nalang umupo.

" Naka move on na kaya si Cassy sayo? " Napantig ang tenga ko sa nirinig ko. Hindi ako nagkakamali, sila yun. Nasa likod kasi ng isang book shelf at ang nasa harapan nun ay may table kung saan sila nakaupo. I peeked through the hole, hindi naman siguro nila ako makikita dito.

I saw him caressed her faced. I felt my heart broke.

" Makaka move on din siya sakin. Dapat niyang maintindihan na ikaw ang mahal ko " Napatungo ako, a single tear from eyes fell. 

" I feel sorry for her, hindi naman nating sinasadya diba? Kahit naman mataray yun, kaibigan parin ang tingin ko sakanya " 

" Kaya mahal kita, e. "

Hindi ko na kinaya kaya tumayo na ako at dali-daling lumabas. Hindi ko namalayang nasa Paradiso na pala ako, agad kong ibinagsak ang sarili ko sa damo malapit sa may kahoy at doon ko ibinuhos lahat. Ang sakit na. 

  Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do

Naptingin ako sa lalaking nasa harapan ko. He's singing. 

Promise that I will not take it personal, baby
If you're moving on with someone new  

Hindi ko alam kong bakit parang kumalma ako dahil sa boses niya.

  'Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth

Ang ganda talaga ng boses niya. I even want to sleep right now, idagdag niyo pa ang cold voice niya. I smiled.

But I know I was happier with you  

" You're right, I was happier with him pero ngayon hindi ko na alam kung saan ako sasaya. I lost my happiness " and I bursted into tears again. Umnupo siya sa harapan ko at ngumiti sakin.

" You know what? ang panget mo 'pag umiiyak " I glared at him. Tumawa naman ito at ginulo ang buhok ko. Tatayo na sana ako when he pulled my tops .. again. I was about to smudge his face when he said something.

" Nice color, rainbow. I guess 32.B " 

Agad nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Sheets! Nakita niya.  Agad akong tumayo at sinuntok siya sa mukha. Napatigil naman ito sa pagtawa at napahawak sa mukha.

" Serves you right, pervert! "