Endlessly...

Chapter 53 - Abby

"Is it wrong to want to keep some things private? Literally every aspect of my life is public record, I know it comes with the job but it's been like this since I was a teenager. The world can fucking pinpoint when I lost my virginity and they know exactly to who," Liv snares. Looks like it wasn't just her being hangry because we're already done with our meal.

I don't mean to flinch and react when Olivia rants about losing her virginity and to who because it was a long time ago and we weren't even friends or dating at the time and we're all on good terms with Lucas, so I really don't know what my problem is.

"I think it's normal for everyone in the industry to get this way where we hate it because everything is made public but at the same time we wouldn't have our careers if it weren't for the publicity. The industry feeds off it, it's a beast," Eli places his hand over my girlfriends to calm her. She got so wound up just now which is strange because I don't think there was a specific event that triggered her evident frustration.

"From someone that also follows you and your career along with the rest of the world like we aren't friends in real life, I think the sudden extreme interest in your personal life is that it's your first relationship after your engagement and it's with a woman," Mariah explains glancing over at me and I look at her with an uncertain gaze. "Let's be real, LIVCUS was our generation's Britney and Justin. Everyone wanted you guys to live happily ever after but also couldn't stop watching your every move — it was like waiting for a car crash to happen."

"Then it did..." Olivia exhales deeply. "But I would have never gotten this hot piece of ass," she jokes to lighten the mood making everyone chuckle. "Trying to live down LIVCUS is a lot harder than I thought even after so much time has passed and how far I've moved on," she shrugs and looks lovingly into my eyes. At first glance her eyes are brown, but when the light hits them just right, like right now, they change to amber. And when I really look closely, like I am now, around the iris the color is pure honey, that's my favorite.

Olivia quietly grips my thigh the entire ride back to the hotel, barely chiming in our conversation with Angie. She isn't necessarily sad but the world is a bit on the gloomy side because she isn't her usual warm and bright self. Angie notices also and lets us head up to our room to unwind from today's events before heading out again to meet with Jon and Lee for a show tonight.

"What's wrong, baby?" I probe, she's standing by the window looking out into the city. She doesn't answer, which really starts to worry me. I help myself and undress my beautiful girlfriend not caring that she's still standing in front of the window for all of New York to see. I turn her around to face me and her eyes look so sad and so dark. She lets her dress fall to the floor in a pool around her feet. She snakes her hand up my back and unzips my dress. I slide the dress off my shoulders and let it pool to the floor next to hers.

"Baby," I whisper, unhooking her bra and cupping her breasts. Something I wasn't expecting happen when I lean in to kiss her deeply and finish what she started before we left this hotel room and to try and cheer up my glum girlfriend, "I can't right now, munch. I'm sorry."

Olivia closes her eyes in apology, turning her cheek away from me. I cup her face with my right hand and her cheek is wet with tears, "baby, come here." I embrace my sad girlfriend in my arms, our naked bodies pressing against each other in the most intimate and vulnerable way.

She shivers beneath my arms and I reluctantly pull myself away from her to lie her down in bed. She climbs under the covers and immediately curls into a ball, I come up around her molding my body against hers. I know better than to pry and try and find out what's bugging Olivia right now. She'll tell me when she's ready, she always does and I always find out. Before I know it Liv is fast asleep in my arms. I pull my arm out from under her head and roll over on my back. I just want to know what happen. I look up at the ceiling wondering what it could have been.