When The Last Ember Falls

Twenty

Eris:

I had walked Nesta to her chambers last night, not daring to go inside. She enclosed the limited distance between us. Moving in as if she were going to kiss me goodnight. Instead she painfully patted my chest, telling me to switch the bandages or she would set me on fire.

She knew I wouldn't burn, that her words were not as powerful as she wanted them to be. Swiftly rescinding her previous threat, she went on to say that she would wrap me in faebane chains and switch the bandages herself.

Her face flourished with a dangerous blush as I told her I wouldn't mind if she chained me up, not one bit.

"Goodnight, enchantress," I teased, smirking at the flabbergasted King Slayer.  

Cindra waited in my chambers, her mouth still red from her late-night escapades. She helped remove my overcoat and tunic, telling me about her extravagant night with her lover, Mikayl. How he surprised her with jewelry from his homeland, a token in his culture that is as close to marriage as it gets. It was the same starburst necklace I saw him wearing earlier.

After she patched me up, she ordered the healers into my room, specifically requesting to, "fix him up just enough that he's not bleeding out but not too much that the Gryphon leaves."

Once the healers had gone, I told Cindra about my night with Nesta. Skipping the more intimate details, I realized I was more of a gentleman than I thought. How the Gryphon has changed me. 

Cindra replied by shrieking for a good five minutes. "Fate, my lord!" she had repeated all the way to the door, her arms up in champion fashion.

"Fate," I muttered, lying on my back as I stared at the silver moon, not wanting this night to ever end.

I was nervous to see Nesta this morning. What if she had left? What if she thought I came on too strong? Maybe I should...

My thoughts vanquished as I caught the quiet beauty by my window. She hadn't changed from her bloody evening gown; golden-brown waves glistening beneath the rising sun.

"Nesta?" I surprisingly asked, quickly tying my trousers together, "I was just on my way to see you."

She focused her impenetrable gaze on the sea. The same ocean she had studied for hours when she was held captive here. The only view that kept her from losing her sanity.

I drew closer but she wouldn't look away. That was until I fully blocked her view. She was either forced to stare at my package or look me in the eyes. As I hoped, it was the latter.

The skin beneath her eyes were puffy from crying, her cheeks flushed. I could see the amber droplets swirling down her neck. Had she been crying all night? Was this because of me? Of what I said?

"Is everything alright?" I asked with furrowed brows. What could have happened after I left? She was protected here. Nothing could harm her.  

She held up a creased paper with a glob of silver wax. Mountains topped with three stars, the Night Court symbol stamped in the center. Her line of sight drifted as her trembling lips opened then snapped shut. 

I read the letter, the lines of desperation written by her family asking for Nesta to return to Cassian. The same bastard who was losing his mind from the war. From experiencing the dreadful darkness, the powerful river of death.

That he needed her more than ever now.

That she belonged there, with him.

Her mate. 

It took everything in me to not set the parchment on fire. I knew what it was like in the river of death. I was there, listening to Nesta scream for Cassian to wake up. I fought the raging water that pushed me towards the next life. I tore open the darkness with my claws to reach her.

My voice shook with fury and despair, balancing on the cusp of both emotions, "I see..."

Nesta's eyes shot to mine, "what am I supposed to make of this?"

"He loves you," I confirmed, quickly biting down on my tongue. Why must this be my fate? Why must I lose who I cherish so deeply? 

"And what of you?"

"I..." I struggled to find my words, the lump in my throat throbbed. To say what I have been desperately wanting to say for weeks—months. How could I tell her now? How could I compete with her mate? With who she is destined to be with? 

"You can't even say it," she faltered, her hollow voice echoed through my room. Nesta tried to look at the sea, at anywhere but me. 

I kneeled on one leg in front of her, opening my chest for the blow. "If I do, what will become of it?" I grinded my teeth, stopping the tears from falling—my broken heart from unveiling. "You will always love your mate," I whispered. 

She didn't answer me, not a word as she searched my watery eyes.

"Tell me I'm wrong," I begged, caving on both knees. 

Nesta bit her lip, turning away so I would not see her fall apart any further.

I felt the seam on my chest rip open, a sharp puncture to the heart from her silence. I sniffed in my defeat, the muscles in my jaw flickered as I spoke, "you will never walk this world unloved, Nesta Archeron."

Her cries grew louder as she pressed her quivering lips into the back of her hand. Nesta's entire body began to shake as the sobs came flooding out. I could feel my own heart shattering just from watching her. I was told once that she felt everything. Deeply, madly. Even more so after the cauldron.

I didn't need to imagine what this was doing to her, not when I felt the same way. "Nesta," I reached for her but she pulled away. For the first time of her being here, she moved away from me. Taking that as my sign, I opened my idiotic mouth, "go home. Go back to your mate."