Kept from God

XX ||

"Hang on Manny, it's gonna be alright"

I snuck out of the room and slowly tiptoed down the hall. There was red everywhere, the couch was stained with red, the floor was red, everyone was screaming. I saw Daddy laying on the couch, He looked scary. 

"Daddy?" I called out. Uncle Marcus rushed over to me "Come here" He picks me up "What's wrong with daddy--" "He's gonna me alright okay lil bit?" He forced me not to look at him. Soon people in a red truck carried him out and took him to some place full of doctors.

We went there and waited for him. He had been waiting a long time. Mommy had arrived the next day , I though daddy said she wasn't better yet.

"Come on Modesty.. we gotta go home" She says

"What about daddy?" I asked. "Daddy's not coming home okay? Its time to go" 

"No, Not without Daddye" I shouted. She grabs me "No!! Daddy!!" I screamed as she carried me outside and put me in the back seat. I screamed t the top of my lungs. What did she mean by daddy wasn't coming home?

--- 8:30am

I pulled my dress down for the 50th time, I tried so hard to look as presentable as I could for Church, a place I haven't been to since my Dad's funeral. It wasn't a church suit and a glittery sun hat, but it was something.

I walked towards the bathroom door and knocked. "Chris?" I called before opening the door. He was leaning over the sink, his shirt unbuttoned. He silently cried gripping the sink, trying to force himself to stop. 

"Chris.. It's okay" I imminently take action to comfort him. I embrace him as he continues to cry into my neck. "We don't have to go. We can stay, you do not have to go" I reassure him, I knew he was scared to set foot in that church without his mom, in front of his father. I looked at his tired and strained face wiping his face with my hands. "I'm trying so hard not to think about it but I just cant--" 

"I know " I say. as the tears fall I wipe them away. I was lost for words trying to figure out what to say to him to make him feel better, I couldn't find the right words. 

"You're warm. Why don't you go lay down for a little while" I tell him kissing his cheek lightly. He nodded. I help him to my bed and watch him lay down. Once I had made sure he was comfortable left the bedroom door cracked and went into the living room to leave him alone for a while.

I went back to the living room, taking off my heels and sitting on the couch. The silence made me realize I haven't slept in hours, I was beginning to fall asleep myself when there was a knock on the door. 

It was too early for these random ass visitors, and I knew it was one of the niggas, but I insisted on opening the door anyway. August comes in as always following Donte.

"Ay, Wheres Chris?" Augusdt asked, I shut the door "He just laid down, he's been up all night.. We were gonna go to Church but--"

"You? Go to church?" Donte jokes makes August laugh. 

"a ki ki ki , You clown ass nigga. " I roll my eyes " He wanted me to go with him, I couldn't say no to him... I just wanna be there for him das all" I say going into the kitchen, looking in the fridge for something to cook for breakfast. 

"You know what would cure him more, yo ass in the air--" August cuts Donte's laughter off "Man shut the fuck up the nigga just lost his momma have some respect, Speaking of which are you going to the funeral with him tomorrow ?.. I know tomorrow is the day .. you know --"

"I'm fine, I'm going for him, I'll worry bout me later" I mumble taking out the pancake mix and some bacon. 

August was the only person who really knew the day my dad died, the only person I told a real date to. Ion post about it, there's no need for an announcement. Some people don't even know I had a dad, that's how it be when you mind your business.