Flutter by.

30

i stopped and sucked in. He was going to take the note pad but i shook my head , i wasnt done.he gulped then nodded. He looked impatient. I turned to look at him and i guess my relcutance to write out the next part was shining through me.

"Sang....what is it?" He said sincerly and i shook my head ......i was going to write this! I had to tell them!......but ..why ?wouldmt it be a inconvenient, i didnt want them to treat me any diffrently because of it. I sucked in a huge breathe and decided for sure. I gripped the pen harder and began writing again.

-They were so nice. They reassured me , he said id be safe , then something changed . He had this look in his eyes for a split second then they dissapered , he asked for dean (?) to bring in a drink and ...stupidly .....i took it with out thinking and drank it. He continued talking then i began feeling things. My head spun and hurt .... my body was starting to feel weird aswell. A little inkling of dread and regret popped in me and i dropped the tea on him. When i began drying him off the look in his eyes came back. He picked me up off his lap and and layed me on the bed , he toppled over me and ....began aggrassively kissing me.-

I sighed and breathed a deep breathe in. I was doing good so far . Just a bit more......I felt my heart sink . How could i let this happen to myself. I shook my head and tried to continue. My hand shook .

- he trailed his hands down and began touching me. The....drug made me want him to touch me more.....i felt so wrong and disgusted . Yet....it felt ...good. after a while of ....touching me and kissing me , one of the twins tell the other to stop. He was going to undo his pants when dean told eli to stop. I tried my best to move and yell and scream but the pill had me stuck there unable to move. It had me feeling pleasure at what dirty things they did to me.-

I began crying not more than halfway through writing that paragraph. I saw as my tears landed on the notebook. I wiped my eyes and sucked in my boogers.i had to finish this.

- when dean stopped eli , eli began hitting him then dragged him to me. From there eli made dean do things to me. He made him.......take out his...- shoot what do i call it ? Private part , penis ? I blushed at these things. I shook my head and shook in tears. I looked up and ian looked heartbroken. He stared at me and awaited for me to finish writing. I once agin for the hundreth time sucked in my breathe and began writing.i was stalling..... my mind was detailing my thoughts.... it hurt to relive this...

- he pulled out his penis and ......stuck it in me......-

God i sounded like a child.i menatally slapped my self. Well how else was i going to put it. I shook my head ,i shouldnt be thinking of such stupid stuff like how to name things at the moment.what was wrong with me. I stared at the paper and tasked myself to finish writing .

I heard footsteps approach the living room and saw as both liam and chess made their way to the living room. Osais and chip accompanied them. I stared at them and my heart beat quickened. This was making me not want to tell them at all. I turned to the paper and gripped my pen and began once again.

-eli made dean go faster and faster until i .....released , until....i dont know what but i felt like i bursted with pleasure. -

I wrote and cringed. How embarassing ....he was going to have to read this....the other guys too.

- I cried. I couldnt....do anything.....the worst part was i felt good. My thoughts were crazy , my body was too. My mind and my body were acting on separately.I couldnt move ...the only movement was the ones that my body did itself. I couldnt move on my will. I couldn't do anything. It all happened because of my stupid mistake of trusting them and drinking their tea. -

i sighed and thought if i should end it here he said all the way leading up to that man finding me.

- while dean was .....doing it, eli stepped out satisfied and said something about people being here and that hed be back or something.when he left , dean got out of me and told me he was sorry and said he was going to keep me safe. He tried handing me a pill and i refused .....but then stupidly i i trusted him again and took it. This time the pill did do what he said it would do. It made me throw up and empty out my stomach. He said it would help reduce the effectiveness and how long the drug was going to take. I still felt bad though. My body felt like it was on fire and i liked it....my body wanted more. That was until i heard the gunshots outside and saw dean go rigid.
He told me to hide and i did so. When i was in a closet i heard him talking on a walkie talkie and a person responded telling him to take me and the drugs and go. But when he came to get me.......a bullet exited his stomach and he began bleeding everywhere. I felt a pang on my side and cried as his lifeless body fell on me. That was then how i fainted and found by the scary man. - i wrote and sighed.

I didnt know how i felt. How was i suppose to Feel in this situation? I looked at ian for a bit and hesitently handed him the notebook. A part of me wished i could take it back and tell him i was okay. I part of me wanted to cry my heart out and wish that hed hold me and comfort me once I've told him everything and how i felt. I sighed. I wonder how he would take it.

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Thanks for reading and im sorry for the short chapter and the slow update, this week has been long and dull. Ive been drained creatively and couldn't turn up a way to fit in this chapter .i will try my best top update soon. Thank you for reading and keeping up with story , I'll make sure to keep the story eventful and interesting every chapter😁 anyways thank too very much for reading , please comment your thoughts of the story so far , I'd love to know how y'all have taken to it this far along in the story and off love to know you're fed back on it-fww😊