But He's My Brother?

15. Protection Is Prevention

"You know how I told you during your party that I'll need to talk to you about Samuel?" she says, articulating each word slowly, sounding quite hesitant.

I feel my heart squeeze uncomfortably but force myself to remain calm.

"Yeah sure, why?"

"Well okay, I'll start from the beginning-" she begins but I suddenly interject, almost reflexively.

"Are you dating him?" I ask dubiously, although my instincts are telling me that she is. My heart starts racing and my palms begin sweating as I anticipate her answer.

"Well..      Yeah" She claims, suddenly giggling in the process.

"I wanted to break it to you slowly so the shock factor is decreased" she begins, but I interpose yet again.

"When did this happen?" I spit out, very nearly sounding irritated but change my voice to a soft tone by the end of my question.

"Well last week when he found the both us coming home from town, Aah I'm really nervous to speak about this with you" she replies reticently, abruptly cutting her dialogue short, and waits for my approval on the other line.

Despite my expression being one of heartbreak and horror, I decide to make my voice sound cheerful so she can't detect my true emotions.

"It's okay, continue" I manage to force out in a rather neutral tone, my attempt at sounding cheerful instantly fails the moment I open my mouth.

"Oh, erm..yeah, so we started texting and meeting up. He told me not to tell anyone but you're my best friend, I couldn't not tell you!" she blurts out loudly on the phone.

"I'm glad you told me" I manage to force out another lie.

"When did you two start dating?" I mutter somewhat dismally, but she does not catch on.

"Well I won't say we're official yet but..we have kissed a.. few times" she babbles on. I feel my body tense incredibly and my right hand starts to unconsciously fist into a ball. I suddenly imagine dragging both Samuel and Lia to the open field near our pack-house and feeding their hair to the Cows.

"I'm sorry, I know he's your brother and it's gross to you but I needed to tell you! You're my best friend" she says trying to appeal to me with a nervous chuckle.

"Don't worry, it's fine" I say in a clipped voice, not feeling the love right now.

"A-Are you okay babe?" she whispers, sounding both concerned and terrified of me.

"I'm fine don't worry, I just feel quite ill because of the whole shift  process, anyway I think I'm going to go now, I feel like I'm going to vomit, bye" I rapidly bellow out on the phone line.

"Oh no, I hope you feel better soon. I'll tell Samuel to take extra care of you, don't worry he'll listen to me" She chortles, I can virtually visualise the wink she probably sent my way.

"Hahaa, yeah. Bye!" I reply quickly not in the mood to replicate her tone of excitement and end the call.

A few minutes after I place the phone down, I do indeed feel an uneasiness in my belly; the nausea is usually to do with the shift but instead I know it is because of the sudden build up of anger, jealousy, sadness and betrayal i felt towards Samuel and Lia.

I stay in my room and lay down on my bed feeling utterly sorry for myself, after ten minutes or so I inhale a whiff of the usually citrus like scent and understand that Samuel is now home. The usual feeling of desire is now replaced by anger and without even contemplating over my actions I get up from bed and bolt out of my room like an Olympic sprinter. It feels like an animalistic instinct is urging me do so, as if I am not in control of my actions.