Lost In My Blood [s.m]

Chapter 22

Chapter 22
Lost In My Blood
Sarah Wilson
1021 Words
~

Ugh! Why is time so slow! Shawn and his team keep blabbing on about a new song he's going to perform tonight but as soon as I pop up into the conversation it suddenly turns into damn confidential information.

All I can do is spin around on the stool in first and and passive aggressively text Shawn. I'm sure he finds it absolutely hilarioussss.

I mean, how can I be calm? Is it a love song? Is it a happy song? Is it a sad song? Is it rap? Is it a confession? Is it a breakup song? There's so many what ifs, I'm loosing my mind.

I have an idea! I'll asks the fans to get it out of him during the Q&A. He loves them too much, he'll have to answer! Hell yeah. I'm a genius.

I let Andrew know that I'm roaming around and go outside to the line up and get everyone's attention "Hey guys! I need your help!" Almost everyone looks up, ready for action "If you're going to his Q&A, ask him about the new song he's performing tonight! Be as stubborn as you want, I'll be there to back you up. Thanks!"

I hear quite a few agree and start making game plans as I walk back in, deciding to head to Shawn's dressing room. "Sooo. You're still not gonna tell me?" All I get in response is a shrug and a smirk.

I groan and walk back out, impatiently waiting for the Q&A to start. Finally, we start letting them in for it. I confirm with them our mission and take a stand at the side of the room.

They ask a few questions first to make it seem less suspicious then the big question is popped "I've seen this all over Twitter. What's your new song all about?" I look at him with hope in my eyes and all he does is laugh. Laugh? What? Give me an answer!

He answers nonchalantly "Nice try Sarah, moving on!" All the fans turn to me and say sorry or laugh. I give them a thumbs up before rolling my eyes at Shawn. I guess I still have to wait another two hours for this "new song"

~

I laugh with a fan in first aid while I get he water to take with her Advil. We both have sympathy for each other regarding Shawn's use of the word "soon." Don't even deny it, you know it drives us all crazy.

I send her off and get my bag ready for his on stage performance. I give him a little pep talk, remembering to be just the slightest bit sassy, before heading over to the sound console.

I sit in silence with the crew until one of them starts laughing at their phone then at me. I look over their shoulder but they've turned their phone off "What was so funny?" She looks up at me "As powerful the Mendes Army is, Shawn is one smart man. Great attempt at getting that out of him my girl!" Oh of course! Now it's funny. How is my suffering funny?!

Okay. Maybe I'm over exaggerating but this is serious. Seriously annoying.

The show starts and I sit in my chair, nerves buzzing my mind. As always, he's gonna wait till the end to sing the song. Finally! I hear the start of a song not quite like any other one that I've heard from him. He takes a deep breath and starts signing while all I can do is let his words envelop my conscience;

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you'll feel better
Just take her home and you'll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh
Is there somebody who could
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood

The second he finishes and walks off the stage I run down to him, hugging him as securely as I could. He smiles against my forehead, gently rubbing my back in a circle.

I break it and look up at him "I'm so sorry that you felt like that because of me. I should've never agreed to go out with him. I'm sorry. But you did make a damn good song out of it. I love you so much baby." All he does is repeat "it's okay." until we both calm down.

Tomorrow is our last show in Oceana before we pay our dues to Asia. The tour is almost over and I still can't understand how much my life has changed because of it. For better and for worse.

A/N: Thanks for reading and remember to vote and comment! ❤️