The Love Code (BoyxBoy)

Just Talk To Me

But I'm trying to fix it.

I'm going to fix it.

I hear the bedroom door open. The last thing I have the strength to do is lift my head and see the pity that I know is in their eyes.

I feel the foot of the bed dip, knowing it's Julia. Her hand grabs my arm just as another tear falls.

I fucking hate crying.

I hate it.

''Son, I booked you a flight. It leaves in—''

''I'm not getting on the plane,'' I say, interrupting Javier. I take my arm from Julia's grip, bringing my hand to my face to wipe the fallen tears.

''Fine, I'll get the jet gassed up for—''

''I'm not leaving New York,'' I clarify for him. ''I'm not leaving New York until I talk to Steven. I'm fucking serious, so don't give me any shit about it because I'm not changing my mind.'' I state to them.

I hear them both sigh. Julia's hand finds my arm again and I feel her squeeze gently.

''Damien if this is because you feel like...like you owe him something, you don't. You don't have to put your mental stability on the line for—''

I don't know what the hell came over me in the next second. But I lost all the cool I had left in my body.

Maybe Julia hit a trigger.

But I would never mean to fire at her.

I sat up in the bed, ripping my arm from her grip.

''You don't know a goddamn thing about what I owe him! You're sticking your nose into shit that isn't any of your fucking business Julia. Mind yours.'' I yell at her.

''Damien stop talking,—''

''You're right. You and him are none of my fucking business, but Damien,you're my business. My shoulders were covered in your tears as you told me how much what happened destroyed you. It fucked you up Damien. And fucking spare me because I'm not saying it didn't fuck him up too, but you could've died out there in California during those two years you spent homeless and this kid had the audacity to look you in your eyes and refuse to give you the time of day. You gave your life up for him and he couldn't even give you a fucking minute! I'm worried—''

''He had a right to do everything he did—''

''Oh god, Damien. If you feel like this kids' actions are justified, you might as well add him to the same payroll your parents are on because pretty soon they won't be the only ones screwing you over.'' Julia says.

I feel the pain from her words hit me at my deepest core.

I look at her and all I can see is regret in her eyes but despite that all I feel is anger.

Did she really just say that to me?

I feel my hands as they involuntarily ball into fist. There's so much anger coursing through my body. Red is flickering in and out of my vision.

I see Javier take a step closer to the bed. And there's this gnawing voice in the back of my mind. It's my voice.

You are not your Father.

You don't hit females.

You do the right thing.

You are not your Father.

This isn't you.

Find yourself Damien, find yourself.

I feel Javier's arm wrap around me with a bear hug grip. He pulls me out of my bed and out of the room. I look to him and see his lips moving, but I can't hear a word he's saying.