The Servant Girl

Chapter 23

Jordan's P.O.V

I staggered up to my room, completely helpless. I tripped up the stairs in my drunken state, almost reenacting the incident with Olivia 12 years ago. I finally made it to my room. Katerina had left much earlier, along with the other guests, and went to her own room.

I got to my room and called for something to help with the hangover I would inevitably have, specifically requesting that Olivia bring it.

A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Come in!" I slurred out.

Olivia timidly peeked her head in. She looked extremely nervous and completely uncomfortable. I flashed her a smile, but that didn't seem to calm her down.

"Hey babe, how's it goin'!?" I slurred.

She flinched and otherwise ignored me. She quickly set down the tray, making sure to not come too close to me. After she was done, she made a move to leave, but I spoke up.

"Wait, don't go," I pleaded

She stopped but didn't turn around.

"Yes, your highness?" She asked in a soft voice.

"Don't go!" I said again, "I need you, I want you, I love you!"

She flinched again at my last phrase, her body visibly tensing.

"I love you so much," I continued, "but I can't!"

At this she turned around, her face full of confusion.

Oh shit! I can't tell her about my father's deal. Even in my drunken state I knew that that needs to stay a secret.

"Why is life so cruel!?" I wailed, ignoring her unasked question.

"Your highness, may I be excused?" She asked in a light voice, clearly uncomfortable.

"No! You will stay with me!" I screamed at her.

She flinched and cowered back, her body slightly trembling. A small whimper escaped her lips. Oh no I scared her. That's the last thing I wanted to do.

"I'm sorry," I apologised sincerely.

"I-I th-think I should l-leave," she stuttered out, inching towards the door.

"No please, stay with me. I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be alone," I pleaded.

"I'm sorry your highness," she said as she walked through the door.

After she left, tears that I didn't even know had gathered began to stream down my face. Why am I crying? Why do I feel so alone? Why doesn't my life feel complete? Why am I not happy? I knew the answer to all my questions: Olivia.

She was filling up my inner thoughts despite the countess amount of times that I've tried to forget about her. Every time Katerina talked to me, touched me, or smiled at me, my heart longed for her to be Olivia. It was like she was my air and without her I was just suffocating.

It was then that I realized that no matter what; no matter what I did, no matter who I married, no matter what my father said, and no matter anything else I couldn't live without Olivia. She had made me the happiest I had ever been and Katerina seemed to be doing the exact opposite. But then again, my father was not a force to be reckoned with. When he declared something, he did not take it back, and he had declared that I not see Olivia again. But the small spark in the pit of my heart said otherwise. It was just enough to keep burning and engulf everything around it. I knew that soon my heart would become aflame with my love for Olivia, the spark that I tried to repress becoming a forest fire.

All these feelings mean so much to me, but what good do they do Olivia. Here I am, two days away from getting married and having already told her that I can't love her because she is a servant girl. I mean, what is she supposed to think. She can't see that I'm totally head over heels for her. She can't see that all I ever think about is her. She can't see that my heart and mind are being torn apart by my father's command and my love for her. If she didn't have the possibility of receiving the consequences, I would have told my father to fuck off long ago. But if I had done that, who knows what he would have done. He could lock her up for who knows how long, exile her, or worse... he could even have her executed.

The thought of Olivia dying frightened me. I knew I loved her, but I also feared the consequences. That night, I fell into my drunken sleep thinking about what I should do about Olivia: defy my father and live happily ever after with the small possibility of the one I love dying, or continue with my arranged marriage and marry Katerina, the raging bitch.

Olivia's P.O.V -earlier

The dinner was ending and guests began to leave, Katerina and the royal family going to their own rooms respectively. The only person left was Jordan. He remained at the table for hours, requesting glass after glass of wine. I feel bad for whoever has to deal with him.

I returned to my room after awhile, along with the other servants who had grown tired of seeing Jordan get very drunk. A few servants had to stay behind to serve him, but most just went to bed.

As soon as I got to my room and laid down, I immediately fell asleep. I was woken up not too much later by a small knock at the door.

"Come in," I muttered out in a small, tired voice.

One of the others servants poked her head in and smiled at me.

"Jordan requested aspirin and water for his hangover specifically be brought by you," she said, then left.

Great.

I went up to Jordan's room with an intention to be in and out fast. I went in and ignored him slurring out drunken words. I started to leave when I heard him speak.

"Wait, don't go," he said with a begging tone.

I stopped in my place, debating whether I should just make a run for the door or not. I quietly sighed in defeat. I don't want to leave a bad impression on the royal family and some part of me still wants to be in Jordan's presence, even if he's slobbering drunk.

"Yes, your highness?" I asked quietly.

"Don't go! I need you, I want you, I love you!" He said.

While I normally loved hearing him say that he loved me, he was scaring me slightly in his drunken state and making me very uncomfortable.

"I love you so much, but I can't," he continued.

At that I turned around. What does he mean he can't?

"Why is life so cruel?!" He yelled, not explaining his previous statement.

Deciding that he probably wouldn't explain it I said, "Your highness, may I be excused?"

"No! You will stay with me!" He screamed.

By now I was very frightened. I had never seen Jordan like this and it scared me. I backed up slightly.

"I'm sorry," he apologised softly.

"I-I th-think I should l-leave," I said to him, still slightly trembling.

"No please stay with me. I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be alone," he pleaded.

Despite him yelling at me moments before, I could sense the hurt in his tone. I knew he still cared, but I didn't want to be near him in this state.

"I'm sorry your highness," I muttered before quickly walking out the door.

I quickly walked back to my room and shut the door, sinking against it to the floor.

What a night.