The Complications of Having a Korean Best Friend

05 - Prom Plannings and Short Dresses

"Thanks for letting me crash here," I told Jungkook as I sat down on his bed, tuning my guitar.

He shrugged, putting all his books away in his bag and making sure he wasn't forgetting something for tomorrow's class. "If I didn't, your Mina-eemo would've choked me so I had no choice in the matter."

I smiled and nudged him with my foot. "You know you love me."

He straightened up and came to sit down on his bed as well. We've been sitting on his bed together for so many years now that it's normal now and we usually don't even think twice about it. Except that I have been thinking about it, and thinking about him and I know that he wasn't, since he seemed to be at ease. It wasn't even that I was uncomfortable but more excited and anxious, like I was waiting for something to happen and it might not but at the same time, I couldn't just give up on that hope. He probably didn't feel the same way.

And as weird as it was, I didn't feel this way three years ago either. Back then, the idea wouldn't have even crossed my mind. We were best friends, partners in crime, the person who'd bail me out of a bad situation but nothing more. I never thought that I'd want more. But then as we were growing up together, the way I looked at him changed slowly. It wasn't a sudden realisation but over time, I would notice things about him that I wouldn't have paid attention to before. Little details that only I could observe since we were almost always together and ever since then, my crush on Jungkook turned into something more, something uncontrollable.

But he never saw me or looked at me like that. I knew that I had covered up my tracks pretty well because he didn't seem to have the slightest idea about how I felt when it came to him. Over the months, I'd learned to hide it. But I couldn't hide it from me and there were times when it would drive me insane, and I'd just want to ring his doorbell and kiss him without a warning, just to see if then he'd know, if he'd see me differently then. If he would finally see me as a... girl.

I glanced sideways at him and his elbow was so close to me that it was practically touching my thigh. My back was against the wall as I sat on his bed with my legs spread out and the guitar in my lap, while Jungkook was lying down on his stomach, beside me. He was scrolling on his phone.

I cleared my throat. I couldn't believe what I was about to say. "You know, prom's coming up in a few months."

He looked up at me, surprised. "And you care because?"

"Well, I don't particularly care or anything of the sort, but uh..." I couldn't believe I was actually saying this to him. "What, what would you say I should wear?"

For a moment, he was stunned and I felt the heat creeping up to my cheeks. Everything in my head was screaming, Abort mission! Abort mission!

I was about to shrug the whole thing off and tell him that I was bluffing, when he spoke. "I dunno... I didn't even know you'd be interested in the prom. Probably thought that you'd skip it or something since it's not your thing."

"Not my thing?"

"Yeah, you know... couples and slow dancing and stuff. You always said that it was so stupid and pretentious."

I gave him a tight lipped smile. Yeah. I have said that. Countless times and even to people who seemed to be excited about the ultimate upcoming high school event. And I realised then that it wasn't really Jungkook's fault for seeing me the way that he did, it was my fault because I never showed him that other side of me. He didn't even know it existed.

The side of me that cried at the Titanic's ending every time I watched it, the side of me who was secretly jealous of other girls for pulling off dresses so well, the side of me who tried on my aunt's high heels just to see if I looked sèxy in them as almost all guys seemed to prefer girls in those. The side of me who'd smile involuntarily when I see a couple being cute together, the side of me that was lonely and constantly craving for something more.

I never showed him that side.

"Grace, you in there?" Jungkook waved a hand in front of my face and I snapped out of my train of thoughts. "What's the matter?" He asked me.

"Nothing," I replied almost immediately. "It's just... um, so hypothetically speaking, if I really was interested in the prom, what sort of... dress do you see me in?"

It was almost painful to even get the words out but there was no going back now. I had to know, had to do something to put that sort of image in his mind. The image of a girl.

He sat up, realising from my tone, that I wasn't messing around. He frowned at me. "Grace, what's going on? You're asking weird questions."

"Just answer them then!" I replied hotly, the blush creeping up on my cheeks again. He was silent for a few seconds before shrugging. "I dunno really... what sort of dress..."

He thought about it for a minute and I stayed silent. He seemed uncomfortable when he answered. We'd never talked about things like this before. "Um, maybe... a short dress?"

I raised my eyebrows incredulously. I wasn't expecting that. "A short one?"

He blushed then, embarrassed and I had to hold back from pinching his cute cheeks. "Yeah, you know. You're not exactly the ballgowns type of girl so I guess, a shorter one, yeah."

He turned away from me then and sat facing his desk which was on the other side of the room and I understood that if I dragged this conversation any longer, I'd only make it more weird. But I smiled in glee because I had gotten an answer.

Short dresses, huh?