The Tattooed Devil Wears Chucks

Chapter 50: Vikings Game Memory

"Zo this is my friend Kane. Grandpa couldn't come so he sent Kane to hang out with us."

She nods while staring at him intensely. "Why is she looking at me like that?" Kane whispers.

I look back at Zo and back to Kane and laugh. "He's not a Packer fan."

"Oh good!" She smiles happily.

"Wow. What as grandpa been teaching you?" Kane peers back to her.

"That Packer fans can't be trusted because their heads are full of cheese instead of brains."

I cover my mouth with my hand to shield my smile. God I love my daughter and the shit that comes out of her mouth.

<><><>

Kane and Zo talk the entire way to the stadium.  She tells him all about our life.  She loves to talk, so I let her.  Even as I carry her into US Bank Stadium her mouth never stops.  He takes every word of it in, making her feel that this is a very important conversation.  She tells him all about her school day, about our apartment, about how I work in a library.  She is absolutely amazed when she finds out they have mutual friends, such as uncle Felix. 

"I need to sit by Kane!"  Zo yells as soon as we take walk to our seats.  My daughter is not shy, but in a way it baffles me how quickly she takes to him.  He's just as excited about their conversation as she is.  She sits between us and I suddenly feel jealous of my four year old.  Stupid, right?  I've cried over this guy.  He made me feel like complete shit.  I guess part of me misses home, Kane being part of that.  I push the thought to the back of my mind.  I know this is for the best.  She can talk his ear off so that I don't have to.  I can avoid the talk of why I would never go back home.  My focus changes to the game in front of me.  Packers vs Vikings games are always the most fun.  It's a Midwest rival thing.  It's nice that the teams are so close together so lots of fans from both sides are present.  It helps that it's nice out today.  They keep the massive doors open so a nice breeze fills the indoor stadium. 

"You live by grandpa?"

"I do.  I see grandpa and grandma almost every single day.  Luxberg is tiny compared to here."

"Mom doesn't like Luxberg, she's afraid of it."

"Zo!" My eyes get big and I shake my head no.  Kane frowns at me. Now the conversation needs to stop.

"You are!" she replies innocently.  "You're afraid of the lake and the woods!"

I offer her my phone with the children's YouTube app pulled up, something she always begs for and never gets.  This shuts her up as I look back to the field and ignore the look I'm getting from Kane right now. 

By the end of the fourth quarter the game is crazy, tied at fourteen with numerous injuries to both side's offensive lines.  Everyone is on their feet cheering.  The man in front of Zo is wearing the most ridiculous hat shaped like a chunk of cheese, preventing her from seeing the field.  Her little eyes dart from left to right around the guy as he moves.  Kane shakes his head at him and then picks up Zo from her seat, placing her on his shoulders so she can see the game.

"Mommy look at me!" she yells excitedly.

"I see you!"  I smile at Kane.  He looks just as happy with this.  Part of me loves this, seeing how she acts around a male role model.  Part of me hates it, because I want nothing more than for Jax to be the one holding her.   What would he think of his daughter on 'bar-boy's' shoulders?  Would he be mad at me?  Would he be okay with it knowing his daughter is happy?  Part of me wonders the same thing about me.  It's the reason why I haven't dated since Jax.  I've tried.  I always come back to wondering what he would think of me for liking someone else.