Coffee and Cafés - Book Two of the Café Latte Trilogy

In-Flight Cappuccino

Jasper smiled a little. "You want to say yes?"

I crumbled. "A little."

"You know if you upstage my wedding, I will likely end you," Jasper teased me, and then gave me the ring back. "Tom, I won't lie - it is bloody fast. You haven't even been together a year. But by the time he gets back, you'll have been together way longer, and it's not like you're planning on getting hitched tomorrow."

"Firstly, I would not even try to upstage your wedding," I told him. "Because that wedding is going to be so expensive and I can't face spending that much on a party."

"Never call my wedding a party again," he said solemnly.

"Secondly," I pressed on, not wanting to end up dead as a result of this conversation. "I just... I don't know what... I don't even know what I'm trying to say right now."

I leaned back in my chair, tired and confused. I was overwhelmed with emotions; sadness over leaving him in Italy, happiness that I knew I wanted to stay here for sure, weariness from the flights and having walked a lot the last few days; it was all a cacophony of feelings and I had no idea what they were culminating in.

Jasper thought about it for a moment. "Okay, try this," he said, also leaning back. "Picture saying yes."

Instantly, Angelo's happy face came to mind, and I smiled despite myself. "He'd be very happy."

"Yeah, obviously," Jasper said. "But does it make you happy?"

I closed my eyes and thought about it. I pictured saying yes. I pictured telling him I'd marry him. I pictured planning a wedding with him. I pictured both of us instantly agreeing that we didn't want a big wedding, just a small romantic event with our close friends. I pictured being married to him. I pictured it all, and I came to one conclusion.

"Not yet," I said. "The thought makes me happy, really happy. But not yet."

Jasper smiled. "There you go, then. Just tell him it's a future yes, you're just not quite ready."

I nodded, feeling satisfied in my conclusion, but then my heart sank a little. "I hope he takes it well."

Jasper snorted. "He's fucking perfect, of course he'll take it well."

I smiled to myself, and when I looked back at Jasper he looked like he was struggling with himself. I frowned. "Jazz? You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded, and then blurted out. "Thank you."

"For?" I asked, confused.

"For all of it," he said, gesturing to the office. "For Ross, for our friends, for my life. None of it would have happened if you hadn't taken me in that first day in town. I'm so freaking happy with how things wound up. Wouldn't have happened if you weren't the wonderful man you are. I just... thank you. And I'm just so happy to see you happy again."

My heart swelled with affection and I leaned over to give him a hug. "Love you, Jazz."

"Love you too, Tom," he replied, his voice slightly muffled.

******

That night, I called Angelo.

"Hello, Tom, I was just talking about you-"

"I'm not saying no," I quickly interjected, knowing that the many coffees I had given myself were wearing off and I only had a short amount of time left before my balls vacated my body and I wussed out. "But I'm not ready. I'm just not. It's too soon, and I'm still getting to grips with my life. It's not a no. It's just not a yes. Yet."