CRUSH U | EXO ONESHOTS

rehab | baeksoo

this is a continuation of a oneshot i've previously written, so go read that first in case you haven't yet to get better context (the chapter is called sober)

tags: angst, hurt & comfort, love triangle, chanyeol is a sweetheart tbh
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It's been four months since Kyungsoo left Baekhyun behind, and even though he wishes he could say he made a good decision, he's not too sure about it, not too sure about if he wasnt supposed to wait a bit longer, fight for it a bit harder. Maybe if he was more persistent, Baekhyun would realize that what they have is - was - more than sex. Maybe.

Chanyeol tried to be a good friend and help him out, help him forget, but with his still ongoing crush on Kyungsoo, the giant could only do so much before things went ugly because Chanyeol couldn't be objective and Kyungsoo only knew how to deal with problems by fucking them away. And that's what him and Chanyeol usually ended up doing. It was unhealthy and unfair towards Chanyeol, maybe even more unhealthy than his relationship with Baekhyun was. Kyungsoo was hurting Chanyeol by giving him fake hope, and Chanyeol was hurting Kyungsoo by trying to replace Baekhyun; trying to do the impossible.

They didn't really talk about it but they both knew that if Baekhyun showed up again, it would be over for them. Sure, Chanyeol didn't like knowing that but there wasn't really anything he could do because he was already using Kyungsoo enough as it was. If he were a good friend, he wouldn't have agreed to any of that but alas, he was selfish and he wanted to have Kyungsoo at least for a while; before the man who truly owns his heart returns.

Kyungsoo stopped hoping that Baekhyun would come back and fight for him a long time ago, but Chanyeol was sure he would be back; only a fool would let Kyungsoo go, only a fool would let go of someone so loving and passionate, especially when they were so obviously both in love with one another, even though Baekhyun didn't want to admit that. And that's why Kyungsoo was the only one surprised when Baekhyun showed up at his doorstep after four months and ten days of complete silence between them.

"Baekhyun, what," Kyungsoo wanted to ask what is he doing here, why exactly is he here, but he couldn't. Every word got stuck in his throat and he was just standing there, staring at Baekhyun with teary eyes; he was overwhelmed because he really did stop believing that this would ever happen, that Baekhyun would be back.

Baekhyun was just as frozen as him, it was as if he himself had no idea why is he there and how did he get there, as if he just appeared without meaning to. "I don't know," Baekhyun breathed out even though there was no question asked. He just didn't know.

They stared at each other for a while, and if they were any less overwhelmed, they would laugh at how weird the situation looks, but there was nothing funny about it for them; it was intense. Almost as if they were communicating without uttering a single word, and somehow they understood each other. Kyungsoo apologized for pushing Baekhyun, and the latter apologized for not owning up to his feelings and he promised to try, asked for a second chance. Kyungsoo agreed, but he told the man that it will be hard to earn his trust back. All that was told and understood without letting out a single word.

And once that conversation was over, there were no words needed anyone. They were frozen, unmoving one second and the next they were all over each other. Four months couldn't erase how well their bodies worked together, how much they longed for each other, how perfectly they knew how to reach the peak of pleasure, how they were meant to be together.

At no point during their intercourse did Kyungsoo think about Chanyeol because this is what he wants and needs; Baekhyun. Yes, it was unfair to Chanyeol but he knew that this would happen eventually, with Baekhyun or someone else; they both knew there was no happy ending for them and it may hurt for a while, but Chanyeol had no other choice but to get over his crush. Because with Baekhyun back in his life, wanting to make amends, no one else existed for Kyungsoo.

"I missed you so much," Kyungsoo sobbed into Baekhyun's chest later that evening. "Please, don't leave me again, I can't go through it again," Baekhyun just held him close and made sure Kyungsoo knew that he's there and that he's not going anywhere. Made sure that Kyungsoo knew Baekhyun was aware of how much he had fucked up, how much he had hurt him and how much he regrets it. But the most important part was that he made sure Kyungsoo knew how loved he is.

"I love you, Kyungsoo," Baekhyun finally spoke after Kyungsoo's sobs got quiet and he was just sniffling softly. "I loved you back when I sent the message, but I was a coward. I was scared and I couldn't own up to it properly and I hurt you," Kyungsoo wanted to tell him not to talk about it anymore, but at the same time he knew he needs to hear it, needs to understand why Baekhyun did what he did. "I was ready to run after you when you left and convince to stay, but I stopped myself because I knew I'm not enough for you, or at least I wasn't back then," Baekhyun was saying it as if it were a bedtime story and Kyungsoo was a child, but maybe it was better this way.

"I decided to work on myself, accept who I am and how I feel, and only once I'm ready to embrace it instead of being scared of it, I will let myself go back to you and beg for your forgiveness," Kyungsoo snorted because there was no begging involved, he just let Baekhyun back in without thinking too much, simply because he is in love with the man. "I may sound pretentious now, but I knew you'd take me back. That's why I needed to make sure that I was ready to shower you with love and affection once I came back. Because I wouldn't forgive myself if I came back just to hurt you again because I still wasn't able to love you properly."

They were both quiet after Baekhyun's monologue, and Kyungsoo had to admit that he's happy, in a way, that Baekhyun took four months to come back. Because if he was ready for love now, everything could be the way Kyungsoo always wanted. They could be together with nothing separating them, with no boundaries between them.

"I was with Chanyeol," Kyungsoo finally spoke again. He wasn't sure if he wants to tell Baekhyun the truth at first, but he didn't want them to keep things from each other. "He was there for me and I used him because I knew he has feelings for me. I wanted someone to love me because I didn't get that from you and I'm sorry but I slept with hi-" Kyungsoo hiccuped and started crying again.

Baekhyun only held him tighter and let him cry. He knew how much he had hurt the man in his arms, and he knew that Kyungsoo will be a bit sensitive in the beginning, it was understandable, and Baekhyun promised himself to be there every step of the way to Kyungsoo getting better. "It's okay, baby, it's okay," Baekhyun assured him and kissed the crown of his head. "I was the one to break you, break us, and I promise to be to one to fix us."

They fell asleep like that, with Kyungsoo basically on top of Baekhyun because of how close he wanted to get, and Baekhyun holding the man close. That's what Chanyeol saw when he entered the bedroom, since he got the keys to Kyungsoo's apartment and decided to stop by after work.

He thought it would be more heartbreaking to see the man he loves in the arms of someone else, but the only thing Chanyeol felt when he looked at them was relief; Kyungsoo had a shot at being happy again, and that's all Chanyeol needed to smile and leave the apartment and the keys behind.