CRUSH U | EXO ONESHOTS

can i be him | kaisoo

𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: 𝚔𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚘𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚡𝚒𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚗, 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚎𝚔𝚊𝚒
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Kyungsoo's left alone again. Well, he isn't alone, but he feels alone. Being without the one he loves, knowing that person is with someone else, that made him feel alone no matter how many people were around him.

Kyungsoo knew it was his own fault. He was the one rejecting Jongin's love when he confessed. But it wasn't because he didn't love him back; it was because he was scared of love.

Growing up in a broken home, Kyungsoo thought he'll never know what love is, but Jongin proved him otherwise. Jongin showed him what love felt like, showed him how it should feel instead of constant fighting and divorce, which was the only thing he knew.

But Kyungsoo remembered that his parents were in love too, high school sweethearts that stayed together during university and then got married. They had a beautiful son who turned out to be also very smart and talented, but that wasn't enough. At least for Kyungsoo's father it wasn't enough.

He was a proud father, but he wasn't a good husband. Cheating on his wife, starting a new family, blaming his old one. Kyungsoo's father was nowhere near being a good role model. And Kyungsoo was scared he'll end up just like him; unfaithful liar, who wasn't sorry that he disappointed his family, he was only sorry because he got caught. But still he couldn't help himself from loving Jongin and hating himself for letting him go find love somewhere else.

Kyungsoo was sitting on his bed with his friends around him, but he was mentally fighting with himself, thinking about the only friend who wasn't there.

nini☘️: i'm bored, save me

Kyungsoo smiled seeing the person whom he's been thinking about texting, and all of his friends already knew Kyungsoo won't talk with them for a while, which none of them mind actually. Anyone who knows him and Jongin is just waiting for them to be together.

soo🌟: aren't you with taemin?

nini☘️: yeah, but he decided to invite his friends over so now i'm kinda alone because i don't know anyone and taemin's talking with this minho guy

soo🌟:  come over, xiuchen and hunhan are at my place and i'm kinda third wheeling here smh

nini☘️: that's actually not a bad idea, i'll be there soon x

"Jongin's gonna join us," Kyungsoo announced, trying his best not to sound too excited, but it didn't really work. Not because he wasn't a good actor, but because all of his friends knew he's excited to see Jongin.

All of them continued talking and soon enough, Jongin joined them. They've decided to watch a movie, but Luhan and Sehun needed to leave so it was only Kyungsoo, Jongin, Minseok and Jongdae.

Being the lovey couple they are, Minseok lied his head on Jongdae's lap, having the younger male play with his black hair, occasionally smiling at each other when their eyes stumbled across one another.

Kyungsoo felt a bit awkward, but didn't blame his friends for acting like that; after all, they've been together for over two years now and they got used to being domestic. And from what both of them said when Hunhan was still there, they don't have the time to be like this too often.

Jongin didn't seem to care too much or feel awkward which was Kyungsoo only thankful for, because he felt awkward for both of them. Especially after both Jongdae and Minseok fell asleep despite them being the ones who chose romantic drama.

It was a good movie though, so Kyungsoo wasn't bothered by it and Jongin was caught up in his own thoughts during the whole thing.

"What are you thinking about?" the elder asked after the movie ended and he wiped his tears away. He'd probably ask sooner but he didn't notice Jongin's mind was somewhere else until now.

"Kiss me," Jongin said when he looked at Kyungsoo. To say the elder was surprised would be an understatement.

"What?" Kyungsoo was trying to figure out what could possibly sound similar to kiss me because his brain didn't want to admit that that's what Jongin actually said.

"I love you," Jongin continued his give kyungsoo a heart attack series and Kyungsoo wondered if it's actually Jongdae and Minseok being asleep and not him. "Please, kiss me."

Dream or not, Kyungsoo decided to go with whatever was happening and softly pressed his lips against Jongin's. Their kiss didn't last too long, Kyungsoo pulling away first because he was still in shock and he also knew he would enjoy it too much if it lasted too long, and he couldn't risk that when he still didn't know what exactly was Jongin trying to do.

"Why?" Kyungsoo asked. His mind was going crazy because of all the possible answers that could come out of Jongin's mouth.

"I told you," Jongin smiled and cupped Kyungsoo's cheek, caressing it gently, "I love you."

Kyungsoo wasn't sure what to say. He knew his heart wanted to say it back, he knew he loves Jongin, but he didn't know if he's ready.

All those lonely nights wishing he was with Jongin.

All those tears shed when Jongin was with Taemin.

All those regrets.

"I love you too," he whispered and kissed Jongin once again.