Abandoned - Negan's daughter (Carl Grimes fan fiction)

Chapter Ten - Drowning

Song of the chapter - Someone to stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Blair

I felt the leaves below my feet, crush and crumple. For the first time today, it was quiet. The whole forest was silent and I was quiet. I was silent and I couldn't bring myself to speak. Morgan stayed quiet as I trailed behind on his feet. Surprisingly we've been walking for a while, but I enjoyed the silent air. I needed it to collect myself. 

The whole situation with Grace and Lisa, didn't stop replaying my mind and I officially felt emotionally tired. Everything was beginning to get too much and I didn't know what to do. So much guilt had built up in me, it left me wondering, do I deserve to live another day on this earth if I had caused two or possibly more deaths? The answer was no. I didn't. Everyone else like Lisa and Grace, deserved to see each other again... Alive. 

"Blair?" "Hey, Blair... Blair." My mind snapped back to reality and I saw Morgan wave his hand in front of my face. He was stopped in his tracks, which made me stop too. "Yeah." I spoke up and he sighed, staring at me. "Are we close? It's starting to get dark and if it isn't, then we need to build camp." He spoke and I shook my head. I knew we were close but the closer we got the more sadder I got. 

I knew I needed to see Carl, once again. It was sad for me to admit to him that I needed him closer than ever. Leaving was the only solution to this. I needed to leave for myself to realize that I actually needed him. "We're nearly there. About a mile left." I said and he nodded. He stood beside me and we kept walking through the woods. He gripped onto his stick and I kept my gun in my hand. The flashlight he was holding, was pointing into different directions, every time he heard something.

It was now pitch black outside and we were both getting tired but I knew Alexandria wasn't far from here and I needed Carl, I needed to have him. I needed to be in his arms, no matter what. I knew it was wrong that I wanted to be in Carl's arms because of all my lies but I was a bad person in general. The many deaths I caused was enough to believe it. 

"What happened back there?" Morgan spoke up, breaking the peaceful silence. I needed to bring myself to speak to Morgan about breaking down. Back at the car, he gladly took me into his arms and told me everything happens for a reason. But something like that... Doesn't. 

"I-I don't kno-" "-You do, but you won't bring yourself to tell me." He interrupted me and he was right. I couldn't bring myself to speak up. I couldn't speak about what happened because I would drown in the guilt, But... I knew I needed to get it off of my chest. The only person I could do that to was Carl. I need to get back to Alexandria and see his ocean blue eyes with the sheriffs hat on his head. He will be there and alive. 

"Blair. I caught on about what happened and you shouldn't of-" "-WHAT!" I yelled and stopped in my tracks. Morgan came to a stop and stared at me. Morgan had told me not to do what, exactly. "I know I shouldn't of kept her daughters death from her! I knew Lisa still had hope left in her but do not... I mean, do not make me as guiltier as I already am." I spoke as I lost my voice. My voice was breaking with the thought of Lisa, killing herself as soon as she seen Grace, dead.  

"Okay... Sorry." Morgan replied and continued walking. As we both walked in silence, I could hear a few screams in the distance and the thing that immediately came to mind was, Alexandria. We are so close and anything could be happening. "Go, go, go." Morgan whispered and we both sprinted through the forest until we finally saw the gates to Alexandria.