A zombie in the 23rd century (completed 11/11)

I caught you!

A ZOMBIE IN THE 23RD CENTURY

Capítulo 4: I caught you!

What a spy army agent I turned out to be, my first raid and in a simple, ordinary family house (common and ordinary in the future I understand) and I had already fucked up..., I mean, screwed up.

"Hey, who are you? Turn around."

No way, I would turn around and try to escape before the woman calls the police of the future (I hope they're not like Judge Dreed).

Hey, what do these little drunk calf's eyes see that the worms are going to eat... A beautiful babe! The woman turned out to be a beautiful teenage girl with dark brown hair wearing a white nightgown that's, uh, transparent.

I see she's wearing a piercing on her left nipple.

When I thought the girl would tell me the classic: "Hey, I'm up here", followed by the classic: "One, two, knockdown slap. It comes to me with something very different.

"Do you like my piercing? My friends tell me I should take two, but I think only one of them shows a more rebellious attitude. What do you say?"

"Emm... huh? Why are you asking me!"

"Well, because you're the only person here right now and since I don't know you, I need an impartial opinion."

This is beyond me, so I just tell her my professional opinion, which is to look at her breasts and drop a little drool.

"I'm waiting" the cute girl cuts me up with a smile worthy enough to serve as a model for advertisements in a dentist's office.

"Aha, it's soooo good" I say showing the thumb of approval and making an asshole face (without forgetting the respective drooling).

The girl stepped forward and smiled at me and said something strange.

"Jell-O."

"Hmm?"

"Jell-O, what's your name?"

"Emmm, my name is Rayita."

LIE, LIE, LIE, I'M JUST KIDDING, DON'T BURN THE BOOK.

"My name is (damn rooster's voice). I mean, my name is (voice: Barry White mode, activated) Vladimir."

"I'm Hailey, what are you doing in my house?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I am a soldier from the past?"

"Not at all. So Vladimir, tell me what you're doing in my house... you're not one of those pervert panty snatchers, are you?"

"What? NO, no, no, no... I'm not one of those guys" I tell her and she crosses her arms and stares at me with a frown. Of course, I don't notice the latter, since crossing her arms Hailey makes her breasts come together and look bigger.

As I was (again) starting to drool, I decided to change the subject.

"Hey Hailey, aren't you afraid I' m a thief or something?"

"And who is a thief these days? All I can think of is someone wanting to take someone else's panties. And in that case I wouldn't have to be afraid, this one like all the other houses is managed by artificial intelligence, the AI of the house scanned you, as soon as you crossed the garden. It recorded your brain waves and your entire body to see if you had heart disease or any disease, and also scanned for weapons, drugs or sleeping pills. All this to get you fried and not to be sued by your family."

Wow, I seem to have landed in a future where there are no thieves. As for houses with artificial intelligence and murderous defenses... COOOL.

"And tell me, what's with the jelly?"

"Well, Jell-O... gellow, hello... hello."

"Oh, I see. I'm serious, I'm from another time... Oh, I know! Ask me all you want from the... Oh no, that only works if I come from the future."

Hailey laughed and shook her head and approached me, holding my hand, and led me to some kind of washing machine in the kitchen. She put the palm of my hand on a cell phone glass panel and an automatic voice came out of the machine.

"Recognition error, clean the biometric recognition panel and put the palm of your hand back."

The voice of the machine was not like the automated voice heard in the movies. This was crystalline and like saying it... kawai, it was like listening to the voice of a female anime but speaking English.

Hailey was surprised but repeated the procedure again.

"Error in recognition, repeat the above procedure and make sure the palm of your hand is clean and free of covers."

Hailey looked at my palm and repeated the action again.

"Recognition error. Do you want to communicate with the manufacturer or is your personal integrity at risk and you cannot communicate by ordinary means? Touch the biometric panel again if this is the case."

Hailey let go of my hand and looked at me in amazement.

"You're not biometrically registered. No way, everybody's registered, even friends."

"I told you. I come from the past."

Hailey couldn't believe it so she went to a computerized panel next to the wall and with the movement of her eyes ordered something from the AI in the house.

"ID scan complete. Unknown subject. Subject not registered in the United Earth Space database."

"No... it can't... be!"

"You know, I can dance too," I said as I started a charleston demonstration (my best dance step. Well, the only one, I'm a loser for these things).

Hailey's house was slowly getting smaller as the camera shot moved away towards the sky showing a series of rows of houses equal to each other, while the camera shot was moving away...

Hey, what's up, this isn't the end of a Hollywood script! Don't worry friends, in the next chapter I will continue with the story of my adventures (misadventures I suppose) in the 23rd century.

Oh and I forgot, wish me luck with the girl cause I'm in "dry spell," if you know what I mean, ciau.

CONTINUARÁ...