Chapter 23.

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I miss my dad more and more everyday.  Currently I'm sitting in my bed crying with Ryan.  He's rubbing my back but nothings making me feel better.  All I want is my Daddy back.  Ryan's being so sweet and so supportive.  

"I'm sorry Ryan I just can't get over it." I say between sobs.  

"I know I wouldn't be able to get over it if one of my parent's died.  You have to have time to heal." He responds holding me.  He puts me in between his legs and leans me back into his arms. 

"I'm so sorry that I've been such a horrible girlfriend Ry" I sob. 

"You've been the best girlfriend I ever could have.  You're the most amazing person I've ever met." 

Just Ry holding me brings me down from a ten to about an eight.  He's so amazing and he's been here for the entire time and even rented a suit for dads funeral tomorrow.  He's absolutely the best, I wouldn't want to be going through this without him.  I can't believe my Dad told him to marry me.  But hey at least he knows that Ryan's the one.  

I've been put into the legal guardianship of Isabelle, being as I'm only seventeen.  I'll be eighteen in a two months though, this will be my first birthday without my dad.  I can't believe that he's gone.  I know that he's gone and that he isn't coming back but it still hurts like hell.  

"I love you." I say breaking from a sob.  

"I love you too." He responds gently.  

"You're the best boyfriend I ever could've asked for." 



It's the day of the funeral and I can't stop myself from crying.  I'm not wearing any makeup which is unlike me.  Even Ryan noticed it, he said I still looked beautiful without it but he just noticed that I haven't been taking time for myself.  I've also been doing a lot with my sisters.  We're all trying to be there for each other and we've been sharing a bunch of Dad memories.  I'm about to go downstairs, I need help picking out a funeral dress.  Ryan's no help because he just says I look beautiful in everything.  

"Hey Fi, can you come upstairs and help me pick out a dress?" I ask from the middle of the stairs.  

"Yeah sure." She responds getting up from the couch with Josie.  

"Thank you, Ryan isn't really helping me he just keeps saying that I look good in everything."  

"Well you're the prettiest out of all of is, he isn't wrong." She says wiping the tears from her face. 

"I'm not the prettiest.  I'm the ugliest, I still don't know how Mom and Dad made such beautiful children other than me.  I got all of their bad qualities too, I'm just a mix of the two of them that came out wrong."  I respond letting a tear fall down my face.  Fiona puts her arm around me.  

"I still love everything about you.  And don't ever say you're ugly, you're the one who modeled all through high school.  You made a bunch of money modeling.  Speaking of money have you gotten the check for your part of the will yet?"  

"No I haven't even been thinking of that." I say walking into my room. Ryan's just sitting down writing a letter to his coach at his computer.  I still don't know why he writes emails when he can just call his coach.  He always says that emailing is more professional.  And that's what Ryan's all about.  

"Hey Ryan." Fiona says.  "Did you finally take my sisters virginity?"  Ryan's jaw drops at the question.  

"Um...  No.  We haven't really been doing much of anything of that nature recently.  We've kind of been focused on the present situation.  I have to go pick up my tux for the funeral I'll see you guys in a bit." Ryan says coming over and kissing me.  

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