Pieces Are Missing Without You (cashby)

You Can't Lie Forever

Alan POV

I woke up in a daze and I immediately regretted moving. I wasn't for sure why I was hurting, but I got up and practically crawled to the bathroom. I used the sink to pull me up so I could scare the living hell out of myself. I looked in the mirror and saw a disgusting, pathetic, excuse for a teenager. If only austin knew. If only austin was here. I suddenly realized what had happened. I remembered leaving school after austin had upset me and I got home and I was knocked out cold by the sad excuse I have as a father. What in the hell was he doing here anyways? He left us because of his 'faggot son' and now he's come back to hit me. Great, just fucking great.

I decided on a nice hot shower before school today. I climbed to the shower and turned the knob all the way over, hoping to kill me before I had to leave for school. I stepped in and let the water fall over my pale and brittle body. I feel the water pound on my face and I begin to cry because of the pain. Way to wallow in self pity, ashby. You're such a worthless, piece of shit. You should've let your father kill you why you had the chance.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a white towel around my waist loosely and walked to my bedroom. I grabbed a we came as romans tee and black skinnies with holes in the knees. I slipped my boxers on sat on my bed and began thinking to myself. How could I be so pathetic. I put on my skinny jeans and my wcar tee and walked to the bathroom. I noticed the black mark on the side of my face and figured I should try and cover it up, not for my benefit but for austin's. I didn't want him upset because of my stupid ass of a dad I have. I found some of the foundation that I hid from my mom, in case this kind of stuff happened. Who knew it would actually come in handy?

I brushed my teeth and ran my hand through my drying ginger locks. I could tell that my hair was gunna be a bitch today, just like everything else. I threw on my red beanie and went downstairs. I threw on my black Vans and grabbed my books, which still laid scattered on the floor from mr. asshby. *accenting the 'ass' part*. I locked the door and headed for school.

I was about halfway to school when I Austin ran into me. Great, just fucking great. Now I have to explain why I walked away yesterday. I didn't want to, nor was I okay with talking about it. If he knew I had a bully he sure as hell wouldn't be hanging out with the school faggot.  He would ditch me just like everyone else.

"Hey! Wait up, alan!" Austin screamed at me.

I turned my music up and pretended to not hear him. I didn't want to confront him. I sure as hell wasn't going to. I kept walking hoping he would forget about it. Knowing austin though, I knew he would persist.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and decided it was now or never. I pulled out my headphones and austin began looking at my face. OH SHIT DID I NOT COVER IT WELL ENOUGH? Damn it ashby, don't you ever do anything right? I looked up and seen austin staring so I turned away, hoping he wouldn't ask about it. Unfortunately, my luck isn't that good.

"What the hell happened, ash?" he practically screamed at me.

"I went home yesterday after school and got jumped by 2 guys. It's nothing I promise. Worry about yourself, and I'll worry about myself." I had turned defensive.

"Allllriiiight. I won't ask. But I know you're lying alan."

"well no shit carlile."

We reached school and andy and his posse was standing outside by the doors. What a wonderful way to start my terrible day.

"aye faggot ass get over here." andy called.

"look austin I'll see you in first period. I gotta go." I hesitantly whispered to him.

"you coming or what, ashby?" he squeaked.

"y-yeah. " OH boy am I in for a day.

Next thing I knew I was on the ground holding my face. After about 5 or so minutes on the ground clutching my face i decided to text austin and tell him I was leaving school.

To 'Austin c:' : hey I'm gunna go home. I don't feel so well.

From 'Austin c:' : I'm gunna go with you. I don't want you by yourself because of what happened yesterday ;)

To 'Austin c:' : suit yourself. hurry up.

In about 2 minutes austin was walking up next to me and kinda looked at me with questioning eyes. I shook my head to signal, 'don't you fucking dare ask me.' He looked at me again and questioned

"how do you feel?"

"like fucking trash. How do you think I feel?!"

I immediately regretted that because he looked down and his smile faded. Ashby what the fuck? Why did you do that?

"sorry man, I just don't feel good."

"it's okay, I totally understand how it feels to be low and hate life."

Those words shocked me more than they should have. Did he understand my situation? I surely hope not.

I felt something snake around me and land on my waist and I finally had some peace within my tiny ginger body.

"Hey alan, how about you tell me the truth now?" My happiness faded as I knew I couldn't evade him forever.