#Online•jdb

71• "Move in with me"

"Want some waffles?" I offered Sam.

"No thanks," she said with a meager and fleeting smile.

"Sam, what's up? You're making me worry," I shifted my weight to one leg and wiped my hands down on a cloth.

"Okay, I guess there's no beating about the bush..." she slowly exhaled, "I... Dean got an apartment near his mom's house. And... I'm moving in with him," she looked at me with large, timid eyes.

"Oh, congrats!" I quickly scurried around the counter and hugged her tight.

"Thanks," she hugged me back, "but, Char..."

I let go and looked at her, "What?"

"That means I have to move out from here... officially. As in take my name off the lease," she said cautiously, as if she was walking on eggshells.

"So you..." slowly, I was grasping exactly what this meant.

"...Won't be paying rent. Right," she concluded the thought for me, "but I can totally still contribute my half for a few months until you figure things out. I know this is sudden to spring on you but... it's just the right next step for me and Dean to be permanently close to his mom, especially now," she expressed.

I couldn't get mad at that. I couldn't feel betrayed. I couldn't act blindsided. I could be supportive.

"That's not necessary. It would be silly to let you pay so much for something you're not even using anymore. I'll... I'll figure something out," I maintained the best smile I could in light of the fact that my brain was buzzing with immense anxiety over how I would afford my rent as a solo tenant.

"Well, if you need anything, I'm still always here for you," she said.

"I know, S. And... congrats again."

"Thank you. Love you... hoe," she offered a sincere smile.

"Bitch," I mumbled, smiling back at her, "sure you don't want waffles?"

"I'm good thanks, I actually gotta get going. I'm having dinner with Dean and his mom," she explained.

"Right. Enjoy it," I said, pulling her in for another hug because I had no inkling as to what my next move should be - I was too mentally preoccupied with the money issue.

"Thanks for being so understanding, C. I'll see you around to get the rest of my stuff and drop off the key," she said.

"Sure. No rush," I replied.

After another goodbye and a third hug, Sam left. And I was left with a panic-stricken mind, swarmed with anxiety.

I plonked down at a stool at the counter and sunk my head into my hands. As genuinely happy for Sam I feel, I'm consumed with panic over how in the world I'm gonna afford to pay full rent. I'll tell you how - I can't.

"Those were delicious," I heard Justin say as he scuffed into the kitchen, "Hey, what's wrong?" He probably noticed my stress-induced pity party pose right about now.

I sat up straight and sighed, "Sam's officially moving out meaning I have to pay twice as much monthly rent as I did before and, here's the real kicker, I can't afford it. I would be crying from stress right now if I wasn't still kinda in slight denial."

He slid onto the stool next to me, "Okay, you're spiraling a little," he pulled my stool and swiveled it so I was facing him, "we can figure this out. What about if I pay Sam's half? I mean, I'm here often enough."

I immediately shook my head, "no. I can't take your money. You have your own rent to handle and that's... point is I wouldn't feel comfortable. I'd feel bad. I don't know. I just... I just can't let you,"