Perchance to Dream- Book I

Chapter 4: All Dust

*April 29, 2010*

I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation prevent
your discovery, and your secrecy to the king and
queen moult no feather. I have of late-but wherefore
I know not-lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of
exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my
disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to
me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy,
the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament,
this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why,
it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent
congregation of vapors. What a piece of work is a man!
How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties,
in form and moving how express and admirable,
in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man
delights not me-no, nor woman neither, though by
your smiling you seem to say so.

Hamlet:Act II scene ii (lines 293-310)

-Willliam Shakespeare

I gathered my things, heading into the city for my Shakespeare class. I mused about taking Billy to a movie at the Ziegfeld or introducing him to New York dollar pizzas... Then, I remembered we would never be alone.

Tori. Damn. How would I deal with that for two days?

As I was about to descend the stairs into the train station, my phone vibrated. It was a text from Briana.

*Cocksucking Whore:* The moment of truth. I bet u dont believe me.
10:25 AM

*Me*: I do. Already started working on it.
10:26 AM

*Cocksucking Whore:* Me 2. Try not to grovel when u see that I was right.
10:27 AM

*Me*: Try not to grovel when I'm Editor of The New Yorker in five years.
10:28 AM

New ringtone. New apartment. New phone number.

I went into the station, losing reception as soon as I reached the turnstiles. Perfect. Briana would be out of sight and out of mind for an hour, which is how long it took to get to school from here.

I pulled out my copy of Hamlet, reading through the second act, imagining the fiery-haired actor reciting it in a British accent.

I have of late-but wherefore
I know not-lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of
exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my
disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to
me a sterile promontory...

There were prerequisites, like my Cold War class, that I found to be a waste of time. Then, there was Shakespeare.

Considering my current living situation, I couldn't help but relate. And later, when Hamlet compares the humanity to "this quintessence of dust," dealing with Briana and Tori, I felt like I was surrounded by dust. All dust.

Thank God for Billy.

Despite my morning ritual, I got to class ten minutes early. I sat up front. I liked to sit there so my professors saw me. It was so easy to be anonymous in this school and this city, to be looked over. Half of my job as a student was to make sure your professors remembered me. Otherwise, I would be a social security number.

A couple of minutes later, Briana slid onto her seat directly beside me, as graceful as usual. There was a poisonous cloud of Angel perfume around her, and I took bated breaths to remain lucid. She lifted her straight hair off her shoulders, fanning herself in an extremely dramatic and annoying way.