Perchance to Dream- Book I

Chapter 3: Single Lady

*April 29, 2010*

That night, I had the worst nightmare.

I might have been chatting with Billy on the hood of my car back in Phoenicia. Maybe we were talking about saving money for a guitar he'd wanted. That part of the dream was fuzzy. The next part, for some godforsaken reason, wasn't.

A door swung open behind us. It banged against the wall. When I turned to see who it was, Tori wobbled toward us... nine months pregnant. She wore this lavender muumuu and her hair was in disarray. Smoke and a bright white light filtered in from behind her, her dark eyes shiny from tears. She opened her mouth and said words that were more frightening than the image before us.

"My water broke."

Aw hell.

"Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it!
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!
Don't be mad cause he said that he want it.
If you like it, then you should put a ring on it!"

I heard my phone's ringtone blare in my ear and grumbled, sitting up in a daze.

It was a dream, just a dream.

Oh Beyoncé. This song is officially 2000-late. I needed to change the ringtone.

I picked up my cellphone from the nightstand, rubbing my eyes to check for the caller.

It was Billy.

No way could Tori be pregnant. No way.

I tapped "Accept," and went right for it.

"Hey, Billy. She's not pregnant, is she?"

"What?" He sounded startled. A bit too startled...

"Quit being so cryptic. Tell me, now. Tell me she's not pregnant. I won't be able to take it if it's true."

"Yes, we're going to have octuplets in December. Then, we'll have a show on TLC, and Tori will be on 'Dancing with the Stars' with that scary Maksim dude."

I laughed hard, smacking my forehead. God, eight Toris running around was not a future I would ever want to see exist. Billy continued muttering while I laughed, definitely not as amused. I cut the laughter short, clearing my throat.

"Um, before I forget, Cassie says hi. And no, she won't tell you. So, don't even try it." Cassie was his older sister.

"OK, fine. Jeez, you're in a crabby mood for someone coming to the Big Apple for the first time."

"Yeah, well, a lot has happened in the past few hours that has made this trip a nightmare."

"What happened?"

"Just wanted to tell you that our plans have changed a little," he grumbled. We won't get to see you until six."

"What, why?" I got out of bed, walking to the bathroom to turn on the faucet in my sink. It took a good five minutes for it to warm up. So, I went over to my shower and turned that on. That took only a couple of minutes to warm up by comparison.

"Don't worry about it. Whoa, are you at the Niagara Falls?" Billy chuckled at his own joke. "What's that sound?"

"Haha, no. It's my morning ritual. Dude, I don't like how you've been keeping all these things from me over the last week. What's your deal?"

"It's all for good reason. Trust me."

"So, you did get signed?"

"No, I'm on my way to New York to try for American Idol." Sarcasm overload.

"Humph." I tested the water. It was still cold. What a surprise. "So, you're coming in through Penn Station, right? I'll pick you up."

"Oh, don't bother," Billy said, exasperated. "Um, I'll meet you at your place."

"No, silly. I'll pick you up."

"Kat, for once, listen to me. I'll catch a cab from... the train station, OK?"

Hesitation? He was keeping something else from me. "I swear, now I feel like you've joined the CIA."

"Yep, that's it," he laughed with a bitter edge, and I began playing with my hair. Maybe it was bad news after all... "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Alright, see you tonight."

I wanted to share the news about becoming Editor in Chief, but thought it best to wait. If he can keep secrets, so can I.

I hung up, checking the shower again. Scalding hot. I turned the faucet in the sink off.

I showered, my worry for Billy's surprise growing with each passing moment.

What if he was dying? No. No, he couldn't be dying! He said it would be good news.

What if Tori was dying? I shook my head as I climbed out of the tub. That would be good news for me, not for Billy. I snickered.

Maybe he was moving to New York City? Maybe he was coming to school here, too? I brushed my teeth, enjoying that prospect. He was never into going to college. He'd wanted to be a singer/songwriter for four years now. But maybe his dad made him change his mind? The music business was so precarious these days. People were one-hit wonders or Justin Bieber. There was no in-between.

I spit out the toothpaste and rinsed. Opening the medicine cabinet to grab some floss, this five-inch monstercockroach sped up from behind the sink and into the shower like Speedy Gonzalez.

I jumped back and ran out of the bathroom. I struggled to catch my breath and cursed the fact that this was my other morning ritual in the summer months: killing pests.

Waterbugs were the bane of my existence. I was deathly afraid of them all my life. And it wasn't until recently that I decided to conquer my fear and take them head on by calling them monstercockroaches. I know it sounded silly, but I had a deep appreciation of monstercocks since sophomore year and rebranding the pests in this image helped me overcome that crippling fear, finally. To my absolute delight, the suckers showed up this year two months ahead of schedule.

According to the landlord, the pipes got hot from June until September. The very same pipes where these ungodly creatures lived and bred. But because of the heat wave a couple of weeks ago, they started coming out of the woodwork now. So, every morning for the last two weeks, I've had to put my brave face on and wipe roach guts off the bathroom floor. Every morning.

I grabbed my galoshes, slipping them on my arms. They were always up on the tiles, I swear to God. I was about to get Buffy, the Vampire Slayer on that sucker. No way was he getting out of that bathroom alive.

The search went on for five minutes, looking under the sink, in the tub, behind the toilet. Nothing. Then, just as I was about to give up, I saw it behind the door, scrambling up the wall.

"Asshole!" I screeched, slamming the heel of my left boot right into its core. It fell to the floor squirming when I bent down and squished it again.

"You wanna fuck with me? You fuckin' with the best!"

Wait, that wasn't Buffy's line. That was something from Scarface.

I called the super, demanding he call an exterminator today. That was the last time one of those suckers would join my morning routine. He told me I had to pay for it. Rather than continue to fight, I decided to leave the bill at his door... along with a pile of the dozen or so squished monstercockroaches I'd killed in the last week.

New ringtone? Easy peasy. New apartment in New York City? Might as well become a Cuban drug lord/vampire slayer.

A/N: Ya know? One of these days, these NYC apartments will be pest-free. In the year of 2020, anything is possible, isn't it? Anyway, I promise you there's a reason why this is described. 

This chapter is a bit of a stall but next one builds nicely as we get to meet some classmates in all their backstabbing, audacious and ambitious glory!

Comment, vote, and squash those monstercockroaches!