So, today I went to school feeling totally confident and great. I mean I have been feeling really uncomfortable, but today was completely different. I was ready to have a good day and I had a really cool masculine outfit that I thought totally matched how I was feeling. I was hopeful that my teachers would use correct pronouns and not use lady and girl and stuff when talking to me (usually they say ladies and call on me within my group of friends). I was totally ready and totally okay.
Then, I walk into my first hour class and my teacher walks in and my friends walk in and we do all the saying of the pledge and stuffs. And then my teacher turns around and says "okay ladies" I was done. Smacked in the face with the problem I thought was gone for today. And he repeated it... sooooo many times. My dudes... it.was.awful. But then, in second hour, I noticed that I am extremely lucky to be able to use the staff bathroom and not have that be a place where an unwanted gender is thrown at me. No matter what day it is, or how genderless, or masculine, or whatever that I am feeling, I have a place where it doesn't matter, and that is lovely.
Also, I skipped a lot of days... including transgender day of visibilty... sorry... I know... I am terrible. But, on TDOV I did change my facebook gender (which was already on non-binary with they/them pronouns) from private to public. My grandma, the one I am most worried about finding out, may or may not see it... I have no clue... frankly I don't want to know. But, I feel more free now.
Okay so... panic time! SATs are fricken tuesday my dudes. That is in 5 days... 5... FIVE!!! Like okay it doesn't say anything about me and my smartness and whatever. I get that. But, colleges don't. So, yeah I am fricken STRESSED. I will probably do great on the English and then get to the math (which I am usually good at) and blank. Also, I probably won't really do that poorly... but whatever... that isn't what my brain tells me.
Welp hope you have a good one.
And if you are doing the SAT good luck!
Update ya later my dudes✌
