In Case of Emergency // Connor Franta (ft. R.D.)

Chapter 18: I'll Just Go

Song:

Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

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After a while of Connor and I kissing, we finally pulled away. He was smiling down at me and I returned it. I heard a sigh come from the hall and that's when I noticed that the door was wide open. I turned around and got a quick glimpse of Ricky's retreating figure.

"I'll be right back," I told Connor, before bolting out of the room.

Just as I got into the hall, Ricky was already walking into his room.

"Ricky!" I shouted and ran over to his room door.

He slowly opened the door to reveal his tear-stained face. I looked down at the floor. I was such a horrible person. I caused that. I met his eyes again, and cupped his cheek in my hand. His gently placed his hand over mine and sighed. I let my hand drop slowly.

"You can come in," he said softly.

I nodded and shut the door behind me. He sat on the edge of his bed and I sat beside him.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"What for?"

"For ruining your life."

"You didn't ruin my life."

I shook my head. "Yes I did. I don't deserve to have you in my life."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Anything."

"Why did you choose Connor over me?"

I was taken aback by his question. I wasn't exactly sure how to answer his question.

"Um..."

"I don't mean any disrespect or anything," he quickly said.

I broke eye contact with him. "I don't know."

"I mean, I saved you, I treated you right, I comforted you whenever you needed me. I love you."

I looked down at the floor. He was right. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for him. Only then did I realize that I was being selfish.

"I loved you, Ricky. I really did."

"Just not anymore," he whispered. "Do you love him?"

I shrugged. "I guess I do."

"But what did Connor ever do for you?"

"Connor saved me too, just so you know. He was there for me whenever you weren't."

Ricky sighed. "Our relationship really was a mess, wasn't it?" he asked laughing sadly.

"Yeah," I told him, laughing gently. "You know I'll never stop caring about you, right?"

He nodded. "I guess I'll always care about you too."

I smiled and gave him a quick side hug. He smiled gently back at me.

"Let's hope you don't go after Kian next," Ricky laughed. "Or maybe Sam or Trevor even."

I raised an eyebrow. I had no idea where he was going with this. "Next?" I asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I mean you went straight from me to Connor, so I guess it's natural for me to wonder who's next."

Ricky really needed to stop saying everything that was on his mind. That was uncalled for in my opinion.

"Wow, Ricky," I retorted. "Nice."