The Real Jiyong

Chapter 14: The Interview Pt 2

CHINA: "That is great that the words from fans can help you in such dark times, but for me personally I lean on God, because He has never failed me. Do you feel like you can lean on God in dark moments?"

GD: "Honestly I don't exactly know what it feels like to lean on God, not because I don't believe in Him it's just rather I wouldn't know how exactly to lean on Him. I've prayed but you know He hasn't really answered much of my prayers so I've sort of given up on the whole idea."

CHINA: "Lots of people don't know how to lean on God, and usually they think you have to be 100% perfect in order to do so, but its really simple and anyone can lean on Him if they just give their cares up to Him?"

GD: "That sounds to simple and easy and besides how exactly do you give your cares up to God?"

I was getting curious because she was speaking with such excitement in her voice but it was more than that her eyes where lighting up as she spoke she was really believing what she was talking about and the more she spoke I wanted to know more.

CHINA: "I am happy you asked and I will gladly tell you the answer. It's simple you just have to ask God to come into your heart and say that you believe in everything he has done for you."

GD: "I ask Him to come into my heart and then what? Something magical happens?"

CHINA: Laughs softly, "Well, if you want to call it magical then sure yes something magical will happen. You may not feel it right away but something deep inside you in your spirit starts to change. And slowly you will start to see change in the way you used to think about things. Instead of feeling down you will go to your bible and see what God's Word says and this warmth will spring from within you and you will feel better."

GD: "So, I can do this on my own, I don't have to have someone do it for me?"

CHINA: "Yes, you can just say a short prayer out aloud in your house asking God to come into your heart. That's the first step." She said smiling warmly at me.

CHINA: "Well, if you have any questions feel free to call me and I'll explain everything."

GD: "Thank you, I think I'm walking away from an interview for the first time actually having learned something new that I didn't know much about before. Thank you for the opportunity."

CHINA: "No, thank you for giving me the chance to interview you."

I nodded as we both got up to shake hands I thought about everything she had said. Could it really be as simple as saying a prayer alone in my house? I mean it's not asking much from me but would something so simple work just like that? I know she said that it may look like nothing had changed immediately but she said something inside me would change. What exactly would change inside me? Will I know what is once it happened? My train of thought got disturbed as Hyung placed hi s hand on my shoulder.

"You alright there Jiyong...you look like you were very deep in thought."
He said waiting for me to respond.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm alright Hyung just thinking about a few things she said that's all. Ah, Hyung can I ask you something real quick." I say as we walk to the back and I get dressed into the clothes that I was wearing before.

"Sure, Ji what do you want to ask?"

"Mhm, well you believe in God and everything right? Does He you know answer or hear you when you pray?" I ask slipping my shirt on as I hear Hyung sit down as he waits for me.

"Yes I do believe in God and yes, He does hear me when I pray and He answers me every time, not is ways I would expect but I know when He has answered me."

"You know how?" I ask as I walk out having finished changing as I go to the mirror and Ling Li the makeup artist walks in.

"Well, my spirit knows it's like I feel like what I had asked for is coming and I don't have to worry about it because God is going to do it for me. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess so, it's just I've never experienced that so I don't really know how sure I am about it." I say as Ling Li starts removing the makeup from my face.

"Well, how about to come a church service with me on Sunday and if you still have some questions you can ask the Pastor who can give you some straightforward answers."

"Oh, okay... will I have to wear anything specific?" I ask feeling a bit nervous about the whole idea.

"Just wear what makes you feel comfortable. Don't worry no one is going to judge you Jiyong promise."

Hyung and I said our goodbyes and headed for the car. Tonight had been strange in a good way which was odd, but I was eager to find out more about this, and the way she spoke about God so intimately and Hyung too, it made me want to experience this for myself if I could. We arrived at the hotel and I wished Hyung a good night and went to my room. After washing up I sat in bed starring at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

"Okay, God? I don't know if you can hear me or not. But I sort of need to know if you're there and if you are able to help me or not. I'm stressed out and I don't really know how to handle it all, I'm losing sleep and its been happing for some time now. No matter how tired I am my mind wont switch off and I find myself sinking into this dark place where I just want to isolate myself but when I do that people close to me get worried and I just lie saying I'm okay hoping that will be enough but honestly I just don't know if they can do anything to help. So, if you're listening which I hope you are, I'd really appreciate your help."

Sighing heavily I wasn't sure if what I did was right but I was willing to give anything a try even talking to God at this point. I turned onto my side, as my eyes got heavy and I feel sound asleep for the first time in months.