Colson's Games (Book 2)

40: Heavens

It was a week or two. We were all at the mansion. We were supposed to be going to a gig, after my check up with Macky.

"How are you feeling, Doll?" Macky asked, watching the ultra sound screen.

"Uhmmm..." I was kinda tired to be honest.

"Sleepy." Mr. Baker blurted.

"That okay.." Macky took a deep breath, intensely looking for something.

An eery silence fell upon the room, causing me to get a little worried. I saw Macky look at me through the corner of his eye and then quickly look back at the screen.

"Where is my lil baby?" Kells asks, smiling.

"Uhmm..." he hummed, searching.

The room fell quiet again.

"Mack?" I said, my voice a little shaky.

"Marilyn, how sleepy?" He looked at me asking.

"She sleeps a lot." Mr. Baker informed.

"And when I'm not asleep, I'm still tired.." I answered.

Mack took a deep breath. Rubbing his forehead and sighing.

"I....." He rubbed his chin, then looked up at us. "I can't find a heart beat.."

"What?" Mr. Baker looked at him.

"But I saw the baby on the monitor." I said.

"That's the problem. The fetus is there, just not it's heart beat." He informed.

I turned my head away, bringing my hand to my mouth. Mr. Baker holding my other hand. I starting shaking my head.

"No." I laughed a little histarically. "No. You didn't look hard enough."

"You tried, Doll.." Mack bowed his head.

"No. She was just fine. She was fucking perfect." I raise my voice a little.

"M..." Mr. Baker held my hand with both of his.

"No." I jerked my hand away and stood up. "No!"

They both sat there watching me.

"No. You're wrong. No! No! No! Get out! GET OUT!!" I yelled.

Macky grabbed his things and left.

"M, babe..." Mr. Baker started.

"You believe him?" I looked at him, as he sighed. "No... Go."

"Marilyn.." he pleaded, walking over to me and going to hold me.

"Get AWAY FROM ME!!" I shoved him, causing him to move back a few feet. "GET OUT!! GO AWAY!! WE DON'T NEED ANY OF YOU!! GO!! LEAVE!! I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF!!! GET AWAY!!"

I kept shoving him, until he was out of the room. I locked the door, and walked over to the dresser. The realization hit and I felt a sick feeling in my chest.

I threw everything off the dresser.

"No!!" I screamed.

I sighed in grief, putting on hand on my dresser, as I brought the other one to cover my mouth. My hands were shaking. I held it together for a few more seconds, before I looked up and saw my reflection.

"Oh, god..." I verbalized.

I felt my shoulders drop as I started to weep. My knees felt weak, and so I fell to the ground, landing on my butt. The tears were slow.

"Oh, god.." the tears blurred my vision. "N-...Not again. No..."

I began to sob. I slowly took my jacket off and gently lifted my shirt. I softly placed my hand on my belly, hesitating at first. I bowed my head, crying.

"I loved you so much.." I cried.

I sniffled and opened the drawer with the pictures of the ultra sounds, pregnancy tests, and pictures of the day we found out. I felt the tears fall, as I gently picked up the pictures. I bit my lip softly, holding back a sob.

I slowly raised them and held them to me. I wanted to remember those moments forever. I wanted to relive them. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be back when my baby was alive. I opened my eyes realizing my reality.

I felt like I kept reliving that moment. I went over it again and again. I recognized that I called the baby a girl. I sniffled, wiping my nose. I didn't know if the baby was, it's just something I felt.

I stayed sitting there hugging those photos to me for hours, the sun had went down. I heard someone climbing up the balcony. I didn't even look up. I hugged the photos closer to me, my chin resting on my wrist, as I stared blankly at the floor.

They jumped into the balcony, and walked over to me. Kneeling down, in front of me, he sighed at the sight of me. I didn't move. He slowly reached over to me, trying to ease my arms. I squeezed tighter, causing him to be cautious.

I let him move my arms. He sighed, bowing his head a little, setting the pictures on the dresser, slowly.

He looked at me, tilting his head, moving my hair out of my face, slowly. I didn't change my gaze for a minute or so. He closed his eyes breathing out. I could tell he was in pain too. I slowly looked up at him.

His shoulders were slouched, with his head bowed. I had never seen him this wounded before. He caught my eyes, and sat up a little. We sat there for a minute just looking at one another, as if it were a silent conversation.

He slowly stood up, holding my forearms and standing me up with him. He walked us over to the bed, where he laid me down. He took my shoes off. Walking over to his side of the bed, he took his shoes off and laid next to me.

I had my back turned to him, but no matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep. I turned over to face him. He wasn't asleep either. He looked at me and I looked at him.

I was still mesmerized by him. His blue eyes, bloodshot, and puffy. I could tell he had been crying. His eyes looked tired. The light purple slight bags, rested under his eyes. His nose, that could have been carved in the renaissance and sold for riches, sculpting into his brow bones. His eyebrows weren't stern, but he did have the lines. His forehead smooth, and dropping down to his temples. His soft temples leading to his present cheekbones. Cheekbones contouring into his hallow cheeks. Cheeks drawing down to his strong jaw. Jawline leading to his scruffy chin. Chin building up to his red-ish peach colored lips. The bottom more prominent, almost like a pout. His soft lips spread out to his deep smile lines.

His smile was the most amazing sight to behold. Maybe he did have big teeth, but they were meant to be seen. It was intended, by the heavens, for him to smile. His entire face was precisely made for smiling, and when he did... Even angles couldn't resist. He could get away with anything just by flashing a cheesy grin.

I looked up his nose again and met his eyes, once more. His eyes locked with mine. This wasn't quiet communication. This was silent comfort. We were both hurt to the point where if either of us said anything, it would be too much. We laid there, with one another, just comforting each other, in silence.

I couldn't tell how long. I got lost, and I wasn't really looking for a way back.

Okay.... I am SO FUCKING SORRY.... but I had to for this big ass part coming up. Hopefully it'll even it out. Idk. I broke a lot of y'all's hearts just now. I know. I love youuuuuuuuuuuu.