30 minutes later.....
They all looked really shocked and down. See? This is the reason why I didn't want to tell them. People start to feel sorry for you and I despise that. Mr Holland came up to hug me and I just hugged him tightly.
"It doesn't matter now because I've been treated so I don't have cancer anymore."
Tom dropped his head. Good he should feel guilty.
We all then went to talking about the problems in the world today. Well.. the adults. Me and Tom were quiet sitting as far as away I could from him.
"Mr Holland can you tell me where the bathroom is?"
"You go upstairs and turn right and its on your second left."
"Okay, thank you."
I walked out the room and I just breathed. I walked up the stairs and this brought so many memories that I didn't want to think of. For example, when Tom tripped me over and I fell down the stairs or the time when he tried to take a picture of me when I had to take shower because he poured custard on me 'accidently'. I went in there and locked the door. I looked in the mirror and just looked at how red I've become. I'm so hot I took off my jean jacket and I was only wearing my turtleneck top. I just leaned against the door and slid down against it.
No matter what, I feel so uncomfortable in this house because you never know when he might just pour paint all over you. And I also get really nervous quickly so it's hard for me to communicate. I lean my head back and bring my legs towards me and just close my eyes.
"Y/N?" He said quietly.
I just sighed loudly so he could hear it.
"I hate myself." I heard him say that I just didn't care.
"Good for you."
"No, please. I was.... just so bad then but I didn't realise."
"Well for a 12 year old, you didn't seem to know much then."
"I should've apologised earlier."
I just let out a sarcastic laugh.
"Okay, whatever. Like that was gonna sort everything out."
"Please come out."
"No. You don't deserve to see me how I am now. I lost my weight because you made me feel like it is disgusting to be fat. And I wouldn't be surprised if I had cancer because me starving myself. I probably would have been better off like that to you."
"Don't say that Y/N."
"I don't even know why we had to get to know each other when we were younger. Just because our moms' are best friends doesn't mean we have to get along."
He didn't say anything.
I just stood up and I opened the window and I looked at my arms and breasts and stomach. I feel proud for losing my weight. But obviously some people still don't care about that. I looked at my messed up hair and tried to tidy it up a bit before I opened the door. I put in my jean jacket and opened the door. He was standing there. I didn't want to look at him so I just stared at the ground. It was silent for a moment before I heard a sigh coming from him.
"Y/N..."
"What?" I looked at him. Straight in the eyes. He grabbed me and did something that never even crossed my mind. He began kissing me and he held me by the waist. I was against the wall and I didn't know what to do. He then made his way from my lips to my jaw and to then my neck. I wanted to stop because I knew that I can't give in to him.
"Mmmh." He bit my neck and that caught me off guard.
"Tom....Tommm."
His arms slowly slipped down my waist and I just pushed him away.
I looked at him with confused look before I began to talk.
"Why did you do that?
"I just...."
"No. Don't say that you made a mistake and that the only reason that you bullied me was because you liked me because that will be the most fucked up excuse I will ever hear -"
"Y/N-"
I walked closer to him as I was beginning to get angry.
"Or say that you realised how much damage you've done to me and if you could you would take all back. Well that's a lie because people never change. Never."
I didn't realise he was leaning against the wall and I was up against him. But I was so angry.
"Tom...."
I felt like crying but that would make him think that he can solve the problem. I just walked away and down the stairs. I walked into the lounge and I just smiled at them.
"Honey, do you know where Tom is?" Mrs Holland asked.
"Ummm.... I'm not too-"
He walked in afterwards.
"Oh, darling can you help me?"
"Sure mom."
Both him and Mrs Holland went out the room and the parents carried on talking. I just sat looking at all the family photos on the wall. All happy and smiling. Tom looking like he was an innocent child. I just closed my eyes for a bit.
"Y/N, what's wrong?"
"Nothing just a bit tired." I tried smiling but I didn't feel like it.
We soon all found ourselves at the table. I didn't want to sit next to Tom but my parents were gonna sit opposite me and Mr and Mrs Holland we're gonna sit at the end so there were only two seats left. I just sat there and waited for everyone to settle down.
20 minutes later......
Tom kept looking at me and I don't know why. Or maybe I don't want to know. I ate slowly, focusing on the food more than the conversation. I felt a hand go on my thigh softly. I looked at him and just looked away. He squeezed it and I looked at him.
'Im sorry' he mouthed. I just carried on eating not caring the fact that his hand is there. He then sighed really loudly and moved his hand away from me.
"What's wrong honey?" His mom looked at him.
"Oh ,nothing. Can I just be excused?"
"Oh um... Why?"
"I just need to check something."
"Okay. Come back."
"Okay."
He walked out the room and I saw him with a coat running up the stairs. I just began eating and listened in to the conversation.
Soon enough we were gonna go and Mrs Holland wanted to speak to me alone.
"Y/N, how is it with you and Tom?"
I just closed my eyes and sighed.
"I dont know but he keeps apologizing but I don't really forgive him. Maybe I'm being too harsh. I mean everyone makes a mistake but would bullying someone be a mistake?"
She just looked sympathetically at me.
"But if you want me to, I can go up there and see how he is?"
"Y/N, would you please? I was gonna asked you to do that for me anyway. It's the only way you two and work this out."
"I know."
I went up the stairs and looked for his bedroom. But I could hear something coming from the right hand-side. I ambled up to the door and put my ear against the door.
"Harrison, she's here. I don't know what to do. I'm just a big fuck-up. I tried to apologised and that ended up with me kissing her."
I heard a shout from the phone and I couldn't make out any of it.
"I know. I know. I should've gone to New York last year."
He was going to see me? What's so important that he had to come over to see me.
I just walked away away and down the stairs.
"So?"
"Oh it doesn't matter. I didn't feel like talking to him."
"Its alright. Come here."
She hugged me and I hugged Mr Holland.
"It was a pleasure to meet all of you today."
They both smiled.
"It meaned alot to us dear." Mr Holland said.
We opened the door and I went out and my parents were saying goodbye. Just then I saw Tom come downstairs and I just turned around and I pretended to do my shoelaces while waiting for my parents. I then saw them coming out and just waved to them.
