Life is all about GROWTH.
Whether you are 18 or 88, life will always teach you something new, by stretching you and placing you outside of your comfort zone. But the question is , are you ready for the change? Many run from it while others embrace...
"I thought I lost you, but you still live in me. I could feel your heart beat as it harmonizes with the rhythm of mines. I love you so much Derek Vandroff, you made me the happiest I have ever been in all of my life on this earth. It was my honor to be your wife, your soulmate. Baby, its been only a few days since your death but it feels like a lifetime and I miss you so much. My heart cannot take the pain. Oh the pain! its unbearable. I don't know how to function, its like someone pressed the reset button on my life."
"Mam its time" the soldier said when he tapped my shoulder.
"okay sir" i wiped the tears running down my cheeks and tried to pull myself together. This doesn't feel real. The soldier began to escort me to my seat but I couldn't leave him, so I rushed back and kissed his coffin. The tears came in like a flood and I didn't want to let go.
"Baby please wake up, baby pleeeeeaaaase. I NEED YOU DEREK. GOD PLEASE WORK A MIRACLE, PLEASE JESUS RAISE HIM UP.......... BRING BACK MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!" i cried while knocking on his coffin.
"Mam please, we need to proceed with the rest of the program. I am greatly sorry for your lost, please comply with the terms" the soldier interrupted while trying to removing me from leaning my upper body from the coffin. I unwillingly agreed and proceeded to my seat but I also looked back a few times to see if God had answered my prayer. Hope was on low.
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It was time, to lay my baby to rest and I couldn't bare it. I never thought that this day would have came so soon, we were married for only two years. The marriage was fresh. He had just learnt to stop leaving the seat up. He usually got mad at me for wearing his favorite hoodies but recently he started to accept it. I just loved having his scent near me, I didn't feel lonely because his scent made me feel safe. Now his scent is all I have. He is never coming back to me. What am I going to do when it washes away? Lord, please bring my baby back, I beg of you.
BANG!!!!!!!!!
I cried as his unit started shooting into the sky
BANG!!!!!!!!
It rang in my ear, but it didn't mask the loud cry of my soul, of my heart. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I fell down on the grass and I wept. I wept so hard that it began to get difficult to breathe. All of our memories started to swarm in my head, whether good or bad they activated a continuous flow of my tears. I couldn't take my eyes off of his coffin. I began to remember every time we made love, it was beyond passionate. So many happy times forced my cheeks to develop a slight smile. So many regrets, and stupid arguments that I never got a chance to apologized for due to my stupid pride. I wish I got the chance to tell him I loved him. Just the thought of him dying alone made my stomach churn.
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