chapter 10 - feelings

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Madison Lowe.

I woke up, still feeling as hurt as I felt when I fell asleep last night. The hormones made everything a thousand times worse than it actually was. He didn't say the three words back. I was devastated. Crushed.

I was hoping to find Jason still in bed, right next to me but he was nowhere to be found and everything felt so empty and cold. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I didn't want to feel this way or be upset. Especially about something I never even tried to solve. I was decided to have a conversation with him. I had to.

I looked myself in the mirror, softly swiping the powder brush across my face. It gave me a nice tickling feeling, making me scrunch my face together. I inspected myself, putting a smile on. I looked pretty damn good if I was to say it myself. It was magical how so little make-up could have such an impact on your looks.

Jason was holding a meeting when I made it up the stairs, I couldn't help but to check him out through the glass window. Suit. Jason in a suit was a major turn on. I was thankful to be able to blame it all on the hormones.

Jason McCann.

"I know you've had enough of me talking about the baby but-" I was cut off by multiple sighs, groans and eye rolls spreading across the room. That was enough for me to snap. "This is my first child and I am your boss, do you hear me? Things like this," I yelled, showing the knife to everyone. "will not be accepted to lay on the floor. I will kick you out and make sure you never put your foot in this house again, understood?" Everyone nodded. "Also, don't count me in on any missions this month. You know why."

I felt a pair of eyes burning all the way into my soul and I turned to the window. My eyes found Maddie's. She was standing outside the window, looking better than ever. Stunning. "Dismissed." I spoke and everyone got up, leaving the room.

Madison came up to me. "We have to talk." With sad eyes, she took a seat in front of me.

"What's this about? Is everything okay, baby?" Was this the hormones acting up or was she really upset about something? "Wait.. don't you remember last night and what you said to me?" She used her manicured finger to flick my shoulder, a perfect way to piss me off, something she was very aware of. "What the fuck? Calm down." I stared at her in disbelief.

"I don't recall doing anything wrong, but you however... you really hurt my feelings last night, Madison Lowe." I took a step closer to her, as a warning sign she obviously didn't see. "Using full names, are we, Jason McCann?" She chuckled, taking my anger to the next level. The voice in the back of my head counted to ten before opening my eyes again, feeling a bit better.

"You really shouldn't be talking about hurting someone else's feelings because, I- um..." She dropped the attitude, letting her walls down. Right away, she started to cry. This is the only thing that made me feel hurt inside, seeing my love cry. "Shh." I put my arms around her. "Baby stop, I don't wanna fight. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I kissed her forehead and carefully rubbed her back, making movements along with her spine. Maddie was starting to get herself together and I kissed her, making her smile softly.

Our moment was ruined by her phone ringing and as soon as she started to gibber in spanish I knew who was on the other side of the line, no other than Mr Lowe. Madison's eyes were lit up, she really really adored her father. I felt guilty for keeping all of this away from her but obviously, it was for her sake. "Jason?" She called, getting playfully annoyed with me. I snapped my eyes in her direction and I could tell that wasn't exactly the first time she tried to get my attention. "My parents are wondering if we could have Blossom over at our house for the weekend. Is that alright?" She looked at me with those begging, pleading eyes that I couldn't resist. "Of course, baby."

Blossom. Blossom. Her name kept haunting my mind. It wasn't the cute little girl that was so dreadful to me. It was the name and it's background. Blossom was going to stay at my house for the weekend, the innocent little baby named after a brothel. I could already sense that this was going to be a long weekend. It was going to be a challenge for me to keep quiet and not drop clues.

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opinions? thoughts? guesses? feedback?

i also have a bunch of things i wanna say

i'm leaving for spain today/tomorrow so in case i don't have wifi, i probably won't update for 2 weeks. but i'll be writing over there and update a lot when i get back :)

i would also like to say thank you to everyone reading because i put so much work into the book. i'm happy that people appreciate what i do and that they like it so THANKS I LOVE YOU SUNSHINES

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