writer's block-changlix

chapter 15

changbin lived for others rather than for himself. the young boy was the definition of self-reliant and seemed, on the surface, to possess every pleasant quality a person possibly could, and it could be argued that he very well did. however, changbin only adopted these characteristics because others received them well. underneath this web of half-lies he had constructed throughout his life, the real changbin was suffocating. and yet the boy everyone else saw was blissfully unaware of this separate version of himself that existed underneath his skin. he believed that he was true to himself from dusk to dawn and to an extent, he was. 

the reason that changbin painted was because he found it easier to focus on other people. after all, his best life was lived vicariously through those around him. little did anyone know, with every brushstroke, the true changbin was slowly being smothered to death.

however, the real changbin didn't find the time spent with felix suffocating in the slightest. perhaps that was the reason the boy was so drawn to the young male. because when with him, every part of him was able to properly breathe for the first time. 

but that didn't mean his breathing didn't temporarily stop when he opened his eyes to find felix's lips a centimeter from his own. he attempted to calm his racing heart while looking at the lovely boy in front of him, a soft smile finding its way onto his face. a smile that was soon interrupted by a coughing fit.

when he heard the coughing, felix's eyes fluttered open to see changbin sitting up beside him on the couch. he reached out his hand to caress the boy's back, wishing that his pain would be over. the coughing soon subsided and felix smiled at changbin who returned it, soon wincing at the pain in his throat. 

"good morning lix"

"morning binnie" felix whispered, standing up before kissing changbin's cheek, walking to the kitchen to prepare him some tea to soothe his throat. 

felix hummed to himself as the tea was being made, causing changbin to smile from the other room. a smile that only grew as the boy came within his sight with a snowman mug and a tired smile. when felix was within reach, changbin guided him to sit next to him on the couch, ruffling the boys hair. 

felix blushed as he handed changbin the tea, watching his eyes light up as he drunk it. once the mug was empty, changbin felt much better and turned to felix giving him a hug. he accidentally hit him in the back with the mug but neither of them chose to mention it, too caught up in the moment.

changbin sighed in contentment, resting his head in the crook of felix's neck. felix exhaled slowly, feeling very peaceful. the two remained like that for several minutes, just enjoying the presence of the other. felix pulled back and said in a soft voice, "how about we eat the rest of those cookies?"

changbin smiled and nodded, already walking to the kitchen. he grabbed the container about to remove the lid when a hand was placed on top of his own, causing his heartbeat to stutter. he looked up at the owner of the hand, the boy proposing that they eat the cookies in his bedroom. he nodded and followed felix, his eyes drinking in every last detail. 

felix placed the container on the center of his bed, laying on the left side. changbin was stood admiring the pretty boy when felix interrupted his thoughts by gesturing to the opposite side of the bed. changbin gave a sheepish smile before laying down as well, about a foot away from felix. 

they decided to play twenty questions and they learned many new things about each other. all the while, they ate the cookies and snuck long glances at each other, pulses quickening and cheeks reddening when they were caught. 

"okay lix, i've got a really important question for you," changbin said from a distance much closer than the foot away he had been at the start of the game, for the two had drifted closer.

"bring it on" felix said with a playful wink.

"if i were to kiss you right now would you kiss me back?"

felix felt his eyes widen and his breathing get slightly heavier, and he responded in a voice so low it could have been considered a whisper, "well you'll just have to take that chance, bin"

changbin's pupils widened at the statement, pausing for a moment. then he moved his hand to rest on the edge of felix's face, placing a soft kiss on his nose and sending a smile before beginning to move his mouth towards the other boy's. 

felix could feel his lips tingling already and his heart was going quicker than it ever had before, but he felt calm. changbin closed his eyes as he leaned in, but felix kept his open for a moment longer, trying to convince himself that this was truly happening. however, he felt his eyes flutter shut at the sensation of another pair of soft lips brushing against his own. as they moved their lips, creating a slow rhythm, felix smiled into the kiss, causing changbin to pull back slightly and smile at felix. they simply looked at each other before they began laughing, both in disbelief that they had just kissed. once they had both sobered up a bit, felix leaned in and connected their lips once more, moving his hand to the nape of changbin's neck, playing with the hair there. the kiss was peaceful and fulfilling, everything they had imagined it to be. 

felix pulled away only to wrap his arms around changbin and nuzzle his head into changbin's shoulder, planting a soft kiss there. changbin looked down at the boy, placing his arms around his body and kissing the top of his head. felix spoke into changbin's shoulder saying, "i hope you know we will be doing that again".

"of course muffin. anything you want." changbin whispered before placing another kiss on felix's head.