This is a CATastrophe! (Black Butler x Reader)

Behind your back

"It was about Sebastian and jobs. Nothing too big," you replied. "No, wait. You did miss something! My story!"

"Oh god, run Austin!" Brianna called. Instead of obliging to Brianna's wishes, he stood in place with a curious expression. 

"What story?"

"Stupid girl, saying that I can't get a job," Sebastian mumbled, almost throwing the feather duster across the room. 

He sighed, tail flicking back and forth. "No worries, I'll search for some jobs. There has to be something I can do to support my lady."

He walked upstairs and into your room, where your computer laid on the desk. He turned it on, and got to the password screen.

His ears flattened, ready to murder any living thing that crosses paths with him. He didn't know your password. Although he was a demon, he was never exposed to this kind of technology before, so he couldn't hack into your computer. 

"No worries. Calm down, Sebastian," he mumbled, standing up and heading back downstairs. "I'll just ask her mother."

He picked up the phone and went to text her. 

Sebastian: Could you do me a favor and tell me your daughter's password to her computer?

(M/n): Oh? What for?

Sebastian: Reasons.

(M/n): What kind of reasons? To look at porn?

Sebastian: What's porn?

(M/n): ...

(M/n): Her password is animeislife23

Sebastian: Why is it all one word?

(M/n): They don't allow spaces.

Sebastian: Thank you.

(M/n): Np.

I'll look up what that means later, he thought, before turning off the phone and heading back upstairs to your computer.

He remembered how you use it. Use the oval-like thing to move it around (flip it over and turn the switch on) and use the buttons that have letters on them to type. 

It was a very fancy typewriter. 

He got access into your computer and went to Chrome. This is what she did, but instead of looking up jobs, she looks up anime. What a waste of time. I'll admit, it is "cool." At least that's how she describes it.

It felt foreign to use a keyboard. It was grander than what he was used to, and he didn't have to slam his fingers into the keys to write. Not only that, but it was odd to see the letters pop up onto the bright screen.

"How does she use this thing?!" He hissed. A hand fell upon his shoulders, making him jump and slap the person behind him.

Claude clutched his cheek with a straight face. "Ow."

"You shouldn't have stood there and touch me on the shoulder, spider!" He spat. Claude fought the urge to roll his eyes. 

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for possible jobs. We both watch over the house, so I thought I could leave it your hands. Unless you're not a proper butler and can't take care of a small, two-story building," Sebastian replied, typing 'job offers' into the computer.

Claude's tail twitched. How he longed to get rid of this poor excuse of a butler in front of him. He pushed up his glasses and glared at the Phantomhive butler. 

"Did miss (Y/n) allow you to access her device?" He asked. Sebastian nodded silently as he figured out how to scroll down. 

Liar, he thought as he stared at the screen. "Maybe I shall call miss (Y/n) about your... shenanigans?"

"If you want your head hanging above the mantel, then go ahead."

Claude sighed, and took the phone that laid next to the computer. He found your number and started to type. 

Claude: Mistress, Sebastian is using your computer to search for jobs.

(Y/n): He will be dead by 6:00 2nite.

Claude: English miss.

(Y/n): That was English, but in text form. U stupid, n00b.

Claude: You're scaring me mistress. Anyways, I will talk to you later. Goodbye.

(Y/n): cya.

He turned the phone off, and turned back to Sebastian. Instead of his calm demeanor, there was a fiery aura around him. His ears were flattened and his tail was as stiff as a board. 

This was the cue for the Trancy butler to run. Instead, his stone-cold face curled into a sinister smirk. "Angry?"

"Pissed as hell," Sebastian replied in a deadly calm voice, standing up and shutting the laptop closed. "I will murder right now."

Claude's smirk grew. "Like you can defeat me, you lowlife and poor excuse for a butler."

"What was that, bastard?!" Sebastian asked, raising his voice and advancing towards Claude. 

"I said that you can never defeat me, Sebastian," he retorted, before disappearing. 

Sebastian sighed, and walked out of your room and downstairs. he was greeted with a plate being flung towards him, and Claude glaring at Sebastian. 

"Die."

You stepped into your house, and almost fainted from the sight you were greeted with. 

The curtains were torn. There were butter knives and steak knives galore, sticking out of the walls. Smashed pieces of glass and plates were littered across the floor, and some furniture was either scratched or dented.

"Who the fuck..." You mumbled, taking a step back into Ciel. He was in too much shock to push you off. Alois took your hand, and you squeezed it with all your strength. 

"SEBASTIAN! YOU LITTLE SHIT!"