Regenerate | X-Men/Avengers - Pt. 1

Ch. 15

"Of course." I note Matt striding our way with a cinnamon pretzel. "You've got nothing to worry about."

"If I do, I mean if things don't go well, would you miss me?"

I pay more attention to him now. "Of course."

"Okay good, cuz I mean you never talk about other people like you miss them, and- Well, I guess I never do either, but that's cuz I've got nobody to miss."

This conversation seems to have veered, but I can't figure out why. "Make sure to tell Matt you like the shoes. It'll make him happy."

I spend the rest of the weekend in my mind taking things out of storage, having second thoughts, and forcing them back again. I don't know what I'm going to tell him except the truth, but I don't think I've left it locked up long enough.

"Professor?" I waited until the room was empty before approaching his desk. "Do you think we could play chess later? There are some things I'd should tell you."

His eyes shine in a kind way. "Of course, of course. Meet me after classes are out for the day. It's alright."

The chess board seems miles long, yet I look up at him and the distance is too short.

The Professor makes the first move. The game progresses with his strategy a constant solid wall to my harried advances. Placing his hands in his lap he clears his throat. "You'll tire yourself out this way."

I drop the knight where I mean him to go and rub my forehead. "It's a long and boring story, Professor."

"You don't need to tell me everything, just what's important."

Sitting back I cross my legs, uncross them, rub the toe of my shoe against the back of my leg. "I am much older than I should be. I stopped aging properly when I left Alkali Lake—you know about that of course. The people who took me in didn't mind and didn't worry over where I came from or who I was. It's taken me decades to look this old, and in that time I received an excellent education and careful attention. But, I was always a stranger. I didn't fit in."

He waits for my pause to last. "Where are these people now?"

The question doesn't hurt like I thought it would. "Gone. They had...political enemies, shall we say. Things became drastic, but a friend and I managed to escape and live in seclusion until such a time as things could be reorganized."

I rub a pawn between my fingers. "By then I was 'thirteen,' and something about that developmental stage triggered a crisis; everything I'd repressed came to the fore. No one could help me, so I left."

The professor breathes gently. "And your friend?"

"Died of old age."

The board remains at a standstill as Xavier crafts his thoughts. I wonder what he was like as a young man. You'd think the years had been kind from the look of him, but there are deep creases above his brow. And then of course, the wheelchair.

"You've already lived a lifetime, haven't you?" he says finally in a low voice laden with empathy. "How are you?"

"Fine." Numb. I don't feel some great release from burden. "It might come later."

"When it does, come see me."

I nod and the pawn rolls quietly across the board.

Matt yawns and stretches. "Wus the test going to be on again?"

"Chapters- Hang on." I flip through my binder.

"So neither of you heard me?" Vince leans over his single page of notes. "I said there was a-"