Chapter Twenty- Permission
(Zayn)
"COME ON NI!" Ally tugs on her new found boyfriend. "IF ABI CAN DANCE WE CAN DANCE!"
Abi is grinding up against some douche-y looking guy, next to Louis who is drunkenly making out with someone. Truthfully I should be a good friend and pull him off of her but I can't keep my eyes off of Abi. I also can't help but glare at the guy who seems to be enjoying her way to much.
"Okay. But only because you are a bit drink and I don't want you with anyone else." Niall gives in, taking her by the waist and joining Abi & Louis.
Harry seems to have disappeared so I am left all alone.
My fists clench tight and I have to hold back from doing something stupid, as in punching someone in the face, as I storm over to Abi, who is still swaying her lips seducingly, and drag her away from the dance floor to where the bathrooms are.
"Heyyy!" She complains clumsily pulling out of my grasp on her arm. "I was having fun with what's his fface. We were daaancing..."
"Oh that was dancing?" I scoff. "More like dry humping."
"You knnooow what your prob.. problem iss?" She jabs her finger into my chest quite painfully., causing me to let out a little 'oomph'. "You are jeealous."
She says it a little too loud for my liking so I push her through one of the doors and lock it behind me.
"You are just jeealous you cant daance like that with... with.. meee." Abi continues.
"You are drunk." I state.
"And you are a buzz kill." She tries to cross her arms but fails.
"If it means stopping whatever that douche you were dancing with from touching you then I am okay with that."
"But then." She gets really close to me, eyes locked with mine, her breath practically mingling with mne. "Who will?"
I gulp, the temptation to kiss her taking over me.
"You will?" She cocks her head to the side, her hair spreading on her shoulders. "Because I'm feeling sobered up and I don't think you will. Yoouu've been texting Perrie alllll niiighttt."
As she says that my phone buzzes in my pocket. Clearly she noticed that because she reaches for it, manages to get it, and reads the text out loud.
'So lonely. Wish you were here -your baby.'
"You still text her? Sext her even? Huhhh?" She asks, one hand still in my pocket making me extremely uncomfortable, my phone in her other. "I thought we were together..."
I sigh.
"Abi you are drunk. Let's not have this conversation right now."
"I am not!" She stomps her foot. "I wanted to be sober enough to remember this night because I want to be able remember this night. I am having a great time. I am also trying to ignore the fact that I want to be able to flirt with you, dance with you, make out with you in public."
"But I have a fiancee..." I lean back against the cabinet behind me in this supply closet we are standing in.
"That always seems to come back up. We were so happy and now I've made it quite depressing. Well done Abi. I am sorry."
"No you right. But if you must know, I was going to text her that we needed to talk and call her at the end of the night."
She looks down at her feet and I really want to kiss her.
ABI
Blame it on the alcohol or the dear Zayn and I aren't good enough to be real, I feel off about being in this closet.
"Maybe we shouldn't do this. Maybe us being together isn't a good idea." I lift my head back up, meeting Zayn's eyes with my watery ones.
"How many times do you need me to show you how wrong that is?" Zayn asks softly with affection. "Because I'll do it every second of every day."
"You might need to. I can get pretty insecure."
"For absolutely no reason. You look like a goddess, and you are an amazing girl to be with so shut up and let me kiss you now."
So he kisses me and that bad feeling is pushed away.
HARRY
All of my friends seem to have disappeared.
I finished my phonecall and now I need to talk to Erin but she doesn't seem to be answering me.
Walking past the bathrooms in search for someone I know, I bump into two people coming out of a closet.
"Woah sorry mate." I apologize.
"Fuck. Harry?" Zayn exclaims, he being one of the people I bumped in to.
"Zayn." My eyes widen.
This is the second time I've heard slash bumped in to him coming out of a closet.
"Oh god." Abi cries running off.
"Abi wait!" Zayn calls after her, torn between chasing after her and talking to me.
"Go." I sigh. "I'll keep quiet."
Boy are they are in deeper.
ABI
What if he tells?
I was right to freak out before, drunk or not.
My life as I know it is going to end. Management will for sure kick me off of tour and the amount of hate I'll get is going to be crazy. I wonder if Erin will let me join her in Italy, because Italy is sounding pretty perfect right now.
"Abi!" Zayn calls my name.
After Harry bumped in to Zayn and I all I could do is run, because that's all I can ever do it seems. I found the closest exit door that led to an alley, which is probably not the safest place to be in the late night but it's the best safe haven I can get at the moment.
My buzz from the alcohol is gone and now I'm in panic mode.
It always seems to come back to this. Even if Zayn does end things with Perrie, if we are together for real, it'll come back to me pulling him away from her.
"Abi, he won't say anything." Zayn catches up to me. "Everything is okay!"
"Is it though?" I ask, sounding a bit hysterical but I have every right to. "Is it really okay?"
"Yes." He tries to make my hand, but I don't let him.
"Because I don't think it is. I think that this was a sign. I've lost so much already, had a horrible past year or so, and the world is telling me 'Back away now Abi.' This is bad news."
"No. No its not. The world doesn't know what it's talking about then."
"It seems that it is quite insistent on reminding me what a crazy thing we're doing. I'm done. I'm really sorry but we can't."
Zayn doesn't say anything.
I am ending things with him and he is quiet.
"No." He finally says.
"No?"
"You are not ending things. I don't allow you to."
"I don't need your permission. Zayn, it's the smart thing to do."
"Well I guess then I'm not smart. But we are not breaking up."
"We aren't even actually together! I am like.. I am like your mistress or something!"
"I am sorry that you feel that way. But we are still together. I will see you when you get back inside."
Zayn presses his lips to mine without my permission and then goes back inside the club, leaving me speechless.
